Oh, Dear: First Post to Actually Need a Content Warning in the Title

Not Real? A commenter calls shenanigans. Hey, he's probably right. I'm gullible. But I'm keeping it up.

I'll tuck the link after the jump. The link itself goes to a publisher's blurb for a cookbook, so it's not exactly x-rated in language.

However, the premise of the cookbook is pretty foul.

No, not hobos.

Not cannibalism... per se.

The title of the cookbook is Natural Harvest: A collection of XXXXX-based recipes, wherein XXXXX stands for something most men do not want anywhere in their diet pyramid at all. And most women are pretty down on it too.

Yeah, you getting the idea here?

Think about whether or not you want to hit "continue reading." Again, it's not really pornographic per se -- just... well, a notion you probably weren't looking to be confronted with today.

And to think I waste so much flan-thickener in dirty gym socks, as well as on my Aunt Stacey while she's sleeping.

What?

Thanks to Corey.

I'm working on a top ten, but I don't know if I really want to. Some comments will suffice:

Why do you need a cookbook at all? Seems to me that every recipe will consist of three steps:

1) Follow the conventional recipe for this meal.

2) Come in it.

3) Add salt and pepper to taste.

Here's the recipe for Chicken Cordon Blue Suprise:

1) Make Chicken Cordon Blue.

2) Crank out about 10cc's of "surprise."

3) Serve over rice pilaf to your enemies and/or book club members.

Erik asks, "Don't you get that in any restaurant when you piss off the staff?"

Indeed:

Diner Meatloaf with Semen Infusion

1) Order "Mom's Meatloaf" at a diner or greasy spoon.

2) Pick out the road-trashiest neck-tattoo-iest bus boy or waiter in the diner. Call him a dirty Mexican faggit (especially if he is not in fact Mexican) and tell him how much more money you make than him, and how much his "old lady" would probably like sleeping with a "real man" like yourself.

3) Enjoy.

posted by Ace at 03:06 PM

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