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October 31, 2008

Practicing What He Preaches: Jack Murtha Cuts and Runs From Press Conference
Vid Added

He's planning and over-the-horizon redeployment to Meltdown with Keith Olbermann.

After a campaign rally, incumbent Pennsylvania Rep. John Murtha walked out on an interview with Channel 11 when he was pressed to answer questions regarding controversial comments he previously made to the press.

...

When pressed about his controversial comments, Murtha said, “Now you see what you’re doing? You’re getting away from the real issues of this campaign. You are getting away from the economy and health care. You are getting away from education.”

Education? What the hell can you teach these lynch-lovin' ig'rant hicks?

JONESTOWN ADULT LEARNING ANNEX

Basic "Fidjo" Crafting. Drooling subretards will be taught the basics of constructing a cretinous bastardized musical instrument called the "fidjo," a combination fiddle and banjo.

Step One: Get a fiddle and a banjo.

Step Two: Crazy glue and/or duct-tape the fiddle to the back of the banjo.

Step Three: Have a hootenany. Use your skills with the fidjo to seduce your underage cousin Becky-June.

Advanced "Shotgunjo" Crafting. Prerequisite: Basic "Fidjo" Crafting.

Six-tooth, eight-finger mutants will be taught the basics of creating a moronic hybrid of shotgun and banjo.

Step One: Get a shotgun and banjo.

Step Two: Crazy glue and/or duct-tape the shotgun to the back of the banjo.

Step Three: Hold a "shootenany." Threaten to kill your underage cousin Becky-June when she threatens to squeal you knocked her up. Best results can be had if you make sure she doesn't herself possess as shotgunjo before proceeding to this step. Which she probably does, being a moron and all.


Link fixed.

Vid: Below the jump. Thanks to William A., who found it and posted it. I think he tipped me this story in the first place, too.


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posted by Ace at 08:24 PM

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