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October 25, 2008

Obama's Campaign to the Media: Uncle Joe Biden - Crazy Like a Fox (Kat-Mo)

You know what the major problem of trying to keep up with all the Media bias is? We would need 24/7, minute by minute updates. In fact, it is so egregious right now, it is almost exhausting to even point it out. Like drowning in an ocean and pointing out that we're surrounded by water.

Your first response is, "No shit?"

Still, some things can be somewhat amusing...*glug*glug*

Analysis: Biden a reliable dumbass, but we're covering for him anyway.


Sen. Biden says such cute things. It's like watching your crazy Uncle Joe pat a skunk on the head thinking its a dog and then you laugh, laugh, laugh, because its just so damn funny when it sprays Uncle Joe. Or that time he threatened the mail man with a shotgun because Uncle Joe thought he was a flesh eating zombie. That guy is harmless, isn't he? Don't worry, cousin Barry took the shells out.

Man, that Uncle Joe is funny. It's really great to have him at the family barbecue. You know, when he keeps calling your Aunt Barbara a "Godless whore of Babylon". Made you spit out your beer, didn't he?

Then he had a fight with the table umbrella and swore it was attacking him all the while he was singing the theme song from The Man from La Mancha. Like he was Don Quixote on a mission.

By the end of the picnic, he stole cousin Chris' silver and ripped off your brother's wallet right before taking your brand new car for a spin through the neighbor's yard and over the fire hydrant.

But, seriously, Uncle Joe is a smart cookie, even if he is crazy as catfish in a dried up river. He's always saying those cute little homilies like, "You can put a cat in a bag, but it's against the law to drown'em." Or, you know, when he's out on the political stump, "Hey! You know the difference between my running mate and a $5 hooker? Me neither...wait a minute, that didn't come out right."

Then cousin David comes out of no where and tells everybody that Uncle Joe is just a regular card. Right before Uncle Joe stands on the picnic table and tells everybody to empty their wallets, its a stick up...er...we need to pay more taxes!

Yeah, that Uncle Joe. He's a laugh a minute. He's harmless, really, because Cousin Barry already snuck over to his house and emptied all the shells out of his Baretta over and under. Then he called up all the TV stations and reminded them that Cousin George Soros owns half their stock, if you know what I mean. *wink*wink*

You know, it takes some serious analysis to discover that the little audiences Uncle Joe draws shows up because they half expect him to strip off his clothes and run naked through the parking lot screaming, "Stand up! Stand up! Oh, God Bless you, you're a cripple!"

Finally, Cousin Chris Matthews shows and reminds everybody that the native Americans revered crazy people as messengers from the Great Father so pointing out that Uncle Joe is crazy as a loon is racist. Or, something.

Don't look now, but somebody needs to get Uncle Joe a towel. Again.

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posted by xgenghisx at 09:53 PM

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