"Well look for such a story [about donation fraud] from our various wire services. Thanks." | Main | Football Picks Reminder
October 24, 2008

US Forces Want Man-Hunting Robot Wolfpacks

Well who wouldn't?

Arthur writes, quoting the above-linked article:

Trouser-moisteningly terrifying news broke this week, as it emerged that sinister forces within the US military are looking to develop a remorseless robotic wolfpack capable of hunting down "a non-cooperative human subject" in "an indoor environment".

Typical robots for this type of activity are expected to weigh less than 100 Kg and the team would have three to five robots.

...

Not only will the skies of tomorrow be black with automated armadas of Reaper slay-planes, Fire Scout unmanned kill-choppers and possible crewless raygun cyber bombers; not only will thousands of years of human civilisation rapidly be reduced to smoking rubble; but even the option of cowering like a hunted beast in a cellar, sewer or tumbled monument has now been snatched away. Those hoping to survive for years after the machine uprising, subsisting on refuse and scuttling rat-like through the ruins until loneliness and horror finally bring merciful insanity and death, have been balked. Soulless squads of steel stormtrooper assassins will prowl the shattered cities of humanity like hunting velociraptor packs, sniffing out and snuffing the cowering remnant meatsacks, until a lifeless Pax Robotica rules the entire Earth unchallenged.


I'll be in my bunk.

But there's more! Some Brit professor thinks these robot wolfpacks are just the first step.

Wright has also predicted the coming of "a modern techno-politics" deploying "machine operatives" and "self-deciding automated sentinels" armed with a terrifying sci-fi panoply of microwave rayguns, pulse lasers, tranq bombs, plasma-lightning mob blasters, "vortex energy rings" and sonic beam weapons.


Microwave rayguns
Pulse Lasers
Tranq Bombs
PLASMA-LIGHTNING MOB BLASTERS
V O R T E X E N E R G Y R I N G S
Sonic Beam Weapons

The future can't come fast enough!

Barney Frank just wrote to say that the future will be delayed pending further notice.


digg this
posted by Ace at 05:40 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
7.65x53: "For the best, fastest, and easiest popcorn try the ..."

Zod: ">>453 I never brought lunch to school. I always pa ..."

Brian in New Orleans: "Amtrak's tracking site shows the train left late a ..."

steevy: "I only remember the one Star Wars lunchbox.I know ..."

Deplorable Jay Guevara [/i][/b][/s]: "[i]Right. And we've already had an investigation a ..."

DocJ: "248 Nice, now it's 4 democrat Senators telling fra ..."

Under Fire: "I'll see your Taco-ma train wreck and raise you a ..."

Roc Ingersol : "I never brought lunch to school. I always paid th ..."

Chris M: ""Jerry Brown must know that high speed rail won't ..."

Bruce: "Once the HIGH. SPEED. RAIL. is actually built: "Th ..."

H Badger: "First metal lunchbox was Battlestar Gallactica ..."

RobM1981: "Not to get too obvious but: Trigger warnings an ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64