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September 10, 2008

FOX SHOCK: McCAIN GAINS 6, OVERTAKES OBAMA BY THREE

Allah's on it.

Now, you're probably wondering -- why, Ace, are you being such an idiot and giving this the red font/flaming skull treatment when it's a rather expected poll, pretty much in line with others and, if anything, on the low end of likely McCain/Palin leads?

Answer: Because that douchebag at The Page absurdly overhyped a poll showing his boy ahead by one point as one that "would change the way [I] look at the world."

So, why can't I get as giddy as schoolgirl who just got her first visit from the Titty Fairy? I'm in the media too.

This poll has profoundly altered my very conception of space, time, and soul.

This poll is so good I dipped my balls in it. Both of them. (Margin of error: +/- 2 balls.)

"The roller-coaster feel-good thrill-ride of the summer! A masterpiece blockbuster! It's better than Heaven itself, and believe me, I know!!!" -- Gene Siskel

CERN has just confirmed the existence of the dipped-ball boson. [from Circa]

Winning an election with Sarah Palin is easier than winning Tecmo Bowl with Bo Jacksonl! [from IreneFingIrene]

"I'm beating my dick like it owes me money!" -- Pat Robertson

"I'm slapping my cock like I caught it out dirty-dancing with a Pueto Rican named "Ariste"!! -- Olympia Snowe






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