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September 01, 2008

Ha ha ha ha ha ha...

Oh, mercy!

Supposedly this is "Todd Palin" ragging on his wife, and expressing his horror at being upstaged by her, upon being informed that his wife has been elected mayor.

Couple of problems: 1, it doesn't look like him, 2, he has a strange case of emphysema that one wouldn't expect from a young athletic man, 3, it sounds ludicrously scripted as he makes what should be subtext pure text and repeats his daughter's name -- "Bristol" -- sixty-three thousand times, to prove that it's "real."

How many times do you say the name of the person you're speaking to in a single conversation?

I also like the versimilitude of it, as he offers a very convincing, very detailed bit of business about commercial fishing: "Daddy's going fishing today... he's got some new nets."

Gotta be real. Who else but a commercial fisherman would be so fluent with details about the trade like "nets"?

Update: A commenter points out -- hey, check out the advanced, miniaturized cell phone technology they had only in Alaska back in 1996! The rest of us, meanwhile, had to use landlines, with only Power Brokers and Drug Kingpins having cell phones, which were the size of a boot.

Alaska's a backwater? Nonsense. It's at least a full tech level ahead of us. The secret? Special snow-based technology. The Eskimos have over forty words for "integrated circuit."

Remember: This is a source that Alan Fucking Colmes trusts.


I have to stress: This is being seriously offered by those on the left as real. Not a parody, not a bit of snark, but real.

Bristol? Bristol? Daddy wants you to turn that camera off as daddy spills out his deepest psychic scars about inadequacy and emasculation. Wait, Bristol, you're not turning it off? You're going to keep on recording Bristol? Okay, Bristol, then I'll keep going in this absurdist dramatic monologue.

Did I ever tell you about the time I murdered a drifter with a can-opener and jumper cables, Bristol? I have? Oh, that's right, Bristol. It was the bedtime story I told you for six years, Bristol.

Go get daddy his lucky lynchin' rope. His Negro Detector is lightin' up like a Christmas tree. Bristol. Bristol. Bristol.

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me.

Allah tips and notes this is the same imbecile who previously served as Alan Colmes' scary-authoriative "source" for the proposition that Sarah Palin jeopardized her baby's life by boarding that plane.

PS: She was already on the City Council and I'm guessing she won the mayorship in a walk, so I kinda doubt this would come as some sort of surprise to Todd Palin.

Another "Todd Palin" Video Surfaces!

Here's "Todd Palin" cavorting with his mistress!!! Out in public with his illicit lover!


Why did this video ever get recorded and then leaked? Why does "Todd Palin" look so different?

Shut up, that's why.

Another Embarrassing Todd Palin Video! Here's Todd Palin lookin' all gay and shit as he fronts 80's technopop act Scritti Politti.

Warning: Video contains synthesized drum fills.

digg this
posted by Ace at 05:24 PM

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