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July 25, 2008

In the Tank and On Her Knees: German Reportette Just Giddy To See Obama Actually Managing to Do Arm Curls

32 kilograms? Wow. The guy's a veritable Ubermensch, as our Nazi friends lie to say.

I can almost feel her cheeks turning bright red.

As thousands waited at the Sieges Saule monument in Berlin to hear Obama’s sensational speech, a BILD reporter met Barack all alone – in the gym! Here's the incredible account of Judith Bonesky’s meeting…

It's 16:02pm and I’ve been training in the gym of the Ritz Carlton hotel in Berlin. A man in a suit approaches me and says: "Barack Obama is about to come and train ...“ Shortly after half past four and he actually arrives! Barack Obama is wearing a grey t-shirt, black tracksuit bottoms – and a great smile!

"Hi, how’s it going?“ asks Obama in his deep voice. My heart beats. "Very good, and you?" I say. Obama replies: "Very good, thank you!"

...

He goes and picks up a pair of 16 kilo weights and starts curling them with his left and right arms, 30 repetitions on each side. Then, amazingly, he picks up the 32 kilo weights! Very slowly he lifts them, first 10 curls with his right, then 10 with his left. He breathes deeply in and out and takes a sip of water from his 0,5 litre Evian bottle.

He then wiped his sweat from his gleaming mocha brow and a droplet of the precious liquid alighted on my cheek. For the first time in my life, I experienced orgasm. And something akin to a connection with God. A dirty, sweaty sexy connection.

I added the last bit as parody, but honestly, was it really necessary?

Incidentally, this would seem to be the very Presidential-looking workout Obama chose in favor of visiting wounded troops. The difference? The press was allowed, and it's more fun to talk to sexually-giddy hausfraus than wounded heroes. Wounded heroes are such downers, man.


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posted by Ace at 07:40 PM

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