Brits Score Important Victory Against Terror At Home

Well, it's about damn time!

Ice cream van jingles are to be curtailed by council bosses because they are too noisy.

Worcester City Council has decreed that chimes cannot exceed more than four seconds, barely enough for a verse of the Teddy Bears Picnic.

They have also been told they can't sound their chimes before 12pm or after 7pm and can only play music once every three minutes, reports the Daily Telegraph.

When I used to live in a certain blighted Northeastern city, there was this ice cream truck that would come up the street at 10 PM, chiming 'Pop Goes The Weasel' at 180 decibels, apparently out of fifteen huge concert amps strapped to the roof.

It was a very clever ice cream sales strategy. The truck rolled slowly up the street, rupturing windows and eardrums as it went. When the apartment building I resided in started shaking and losing bricks, all us newly-deaf people would run outside and buy an orange pushup.

Or a Toasted Almond bar. Man, I love those things. Nothing better on a hot summer night when there's blood shooting out of your ears.

posted by Laura. at 11:15 AM

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