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July 16, 2008

Help the Leftwing Comedy Writers Find the Funny in Obama

BumperStickerist offers these for starters:

Knock Knock!

-- Who's there?

Barack Obama

-- Barack Obama who?

Barack Obama who wants to see that Hope is restored to America through Change, Change in our country's politics; Change in our Great Nation's Ability to Lead through Peace, and Change in the Eating Habits of Children, so that together we can face this Century with Hope. Hope brought through Change.

-------------------------

a boy, a girl, and Barack Obama walk into McDonald's. The boy says to the cashier "Thanks to the dietary advice from Senator Obama, I'd like a healthy salad and a water for lunch!" The girl says "I'd like the same and I'd also like to talk to the manager about how I can access employment opportunities."

--------------------------

Barack Obama is standing on stage at the Ivesco Center, he adjusts his tie and says to the audience "Take my wife, please ... She's an example of how America offers promise but fails to make that promise available to all. For too long people like my wife, Michelle, have had to work too hard to achieve for reasons that are historical, but that can change. Together, we can make a difference."

--------------------------

Barack Obama took his wife and children to see a talent show agent. The agent asked Senator Obama what the family act was.

Senator Obama explained that his family represented the opportunity for change, the ability of people to improve their lives through hardwork, that children can reach their potential even at the cost of ten to fifteen thousand dollars per year in music lessons and summer camps, that families can struggle to eat healthy foods, such as fresh fruit and leafy greens, and, that all this can happen despite being limited to speaking in one language.

The agent sat back, decided he would never smoke again, order healthier foods that contained zero transfats, begin saving a percentage of his income, donate to charity, and invest in that RosettaStone package he'd seen advertised on television, and asked Senator Obama what the name of his act was.

"The Aristocrats"

----------------------------

So, my name is Barack Hussein Obama, Hussein. Yeah, I know. Hussein.

It's a common enough middle name where my father grew up, and it given to me by my father over forty years ago. It could have been worse, though.

If my father were from anywhere else, my middle name could have been 'Dubya'

--------------------------------

How many Barack Obamas does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Barack simply hopes and the light bulb changes itself.

--------------------------------

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Hope. And a desire for Change.

--------------------------------


Barack Obama, Maureen Dowd, and Bob Novak are standing at the Pearly Gates. Barack says to Maureen Dowd - "So, why should I let you in?"

--------------------------------

Barack Obama likes to shop at Whole Foods. He says that's where he buys his arugula.

Message to Senator Obama, half of America thinks that arugula is something in the back of your throat and the other half of America thinks that "Whole Foods" is a donut shop.

taptaptap

is this thing on?

Credit: Not sure if BumperStickerist had this idea first, but Andy Borowitz also has the same idea of officially-approved Obama "jokes"/campaign advertisements.

Credit Part II: BumperStickerist did have the idea first, or at least indepedently. Why, it's just like Newton and Leibniz.


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posted by Ace at 03:52 PM

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