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June 15, 2008

The Passing of Isildur’s Final Heir (genghis)

(well, in 2005, after her eleventy-fifteenth birthday)

Correction: Commenter "notropis" took out valuable time from posing his action figures in sexually compromising positions to point out that it was actually her "eleventy-fifth" birthday. Thank you for alerting me sir and not going directly to the AoSHQ Ombudsman. Mr. Plover doesn't take kindly to errors such as this. I'm in your debt.

(end of correction)

STFU, I just got the intertubes here at my remote compound, so trying to catch up. From the AP comes an interesting (by which I mean boring, but something to read between your exhaustive and desperate search for free porn) story about a semi-Scandi/Dunedain and her brain.

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) – “A Dutch woman who was the oldest person in the world when she died at age 115 in 2005 appeared sharp right up to the end, joking that pickled herring was the secret to her longevity.

Scientists say that Henrikje van Andel-Schipper's mind was probably as good as it seemed: a post-mortem analysis of her brain revealed few signs of Alzheimer's or other diseases commonly associated with a decline in mental ability in old age.”

Pickled herring. Finger food for the deranged. At least she didn’t mention this. And why wait for “old age?” I feel a mental decline just writing this. Let’s continue:

”Van Andel was the oldest living person in the world at the time of her death in 2005 in the Dutch city of Hoogeveen, according to the Guinness Book of World Records.”

“Though she had problems with her eyesight, she was alert and performing better than the average 60- to 75-year-old.”

“Dr. Murali Doraiswamy of the Center for Aging at Duke University, not associated with the study, said it is unusual and valuable.

In the first place there are few "super-centenarians" - people 110 and older - alive at any one time, a slim proportion of the world's population and a scant number even compared to those who reach 100 years.

As a result, he said, there are few chances to study brains as old as hers.”

That’s because zombies usually get to them first. Krakatoa will be doing an exhaustive and in-depth follow-up post on this as part of his on-going series “The Undead: Why do they hate us and what is the root cause?” Also, in the native Scandi tongue, the word “Hoogeveen” has its origins in describing a sex act so vile that I cannot repeat it here on this family-friendly blog.

In summary, a couple of pieces of advice. First, from the so-called “researcher” who studied/ate her brain:

"It is very important to treat the elderly as normal people, as if they are 50 or 60."

In other words, with contempt. And from our dearly-departed subject, Ms. Henrikje van Andel-Schipper:

“Asked what advice she would give to people who want to live a long time, she once quipped: ‘Keep breathing.’”

Which most of you already try to do, through your mouths, but something to keep in mind.

Footnote: When she passed and went away into the Undying Lands of the West, she left behind her most prized possession: a ring which was precious to her in life and had been in her family for many years. It has since disappeared, but her distant relatives have offered a substantial reward for its safe return. Authorities attempting to locate the ring have so far been unable to develop any solid leads.

Have you seen me?

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posted by xgenghisx at 02:28 AM

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