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June 07, 2008

I Count Dead People votes. [krakatoa]

Connecticut seems to have an undead problem.

Jane Drury voted last year in an election in Stonington, Conn. The only problem is, she died eight years ago.

Zombibama girl
I'm a Zombibama girl!"


She wasn't the only one. Apparently the phenomena is fairly widespread throughout the state.

Journalism professor Marcel Dufresne, at the University of Connecticut, led a class investigation into dead voters and said his group of 11 students discovered 8,558 deceased people who were still registered on Connecticut’s voter rolls. They discovered more than 300 of them appeared somehow to have cast ballots after they died.

“We have one person who appeared to have voted 17 times since he died,” Dufresne said.


Scientists are puzzled at the phenomena. Indeed, there appears to be a certain amount of denial that it exists at all.

Connecticut Secretary of State Susan Bysiewicz is adamant that “actually no dead people voted.”

“I want to be very clear about that,” she said, explaining that while votes were cast and counted in the names of the dead, “there was no voter fraud at all in the state of Connecticut.”

If voter fraud is not the answer, then that leads to the frightening conclusion that the ravenous zombie horde voter menace is real. And nobody seems to know exactly what it is they want.

Some say these zombies are actually pacifists.

brains not bombs
If I could have one wish, it would be for World Peace. No, Brains, then World Peace.

The common denominator does appear to be a strong craving for "fressshh tasteee steaming braaaaainssss".

More red meat ticket.
Fresh red meat ticket.

However, this protester seems to indicate that the undead are in a fight for equality.

Vote for Zombie Affirmative Action
Vote for Zombie Cleavage. Er, Affirmative Action!

Despite official denials, it is hard to dismiss that something strange is happening, and government actions seem to indicate that they have some sort of black-ops plan to stamp out the flesh-eating monster menace.

In Connecticut, 5,000 have been purged in the last two months. That presumably means Jane Drury won’t be voting again, even as her daughter remains stumped that a ballot was cast in her mother’s name in the first place.

Courage. Oh. And, aim for their heads.

digg this
posted by xgenghisx at 08:35 PM

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