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May 15, 2008

Senator McCain, just one question before you go: ARE YOU ON CRACK?

I heard excerpts from McCain's speech on Rush today, and I'm done. I've been trying to polish this turd since McAmnesty won the nomination, but it's still a disgusting piece of shit, and I'm through. Don't get me wrong, I'll still go vote against Obama on Election Day, but even if we do keep Chocolate Jesus from the presidency, America is still going to get the presidential equivalent of a prison colonoscopy over the next four years.

McCain's big "achievement" in the next four years will be bipartisanship? Would that be bipartisanship where both sides work to get the best outcome possible, or would it be the usual Washington game where Republicans curl up into the fetal position while Charlie "Damien 'Football' Williams" Rangel uses a concrete block to cave in their skulls? His other goals are laughably lacking any details of how the hell we're going to get them accomplished. Senator, your plans make the "Underpants Gnomes" version of a business plan look like the senior project of a Harvard MBA candidate by comparison.

I'm now resigned to the fact that the next four years will be one long assault on free speech rights, second amendment rights, American sovereignty & border control, and our general business climate too. Jeebus Kee-rist, with this speech, McAmnesty is walking into Huckabee territory with me, and he's now officially "Huck sans Bible".

My plan? I'll coat my guns in cosmoline & bury them in the woods. My wife and I are slightly smarter than "the average bear", so we'll be able to spend some time to teach Moses all the things that our wonderful Government School System "forgets" to cover. I'm not a bad karaoke singer (my "Folsom Prison Blues" will bring tears to your eyes, man), so I'll be able to sing for change on street corners once McAmnesty or Obama destroy the construction industry by importing millions of Mexicans willing to put in a day's work for three Hershey bars and an apple. My wife works for the State, so we're OK there, since neither McAmnesty or his other (D) opponents will cut government.

If anyone needs me, I'll be over in the corner freaking out with Corporal Hudson.


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posted by Russ from Winterset at 04:10 PM

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