Chinook Helicopters Sabotaged at Plant; Reward Offered | Main | Lori Drew, Notorious MySpace Suicide-Inciter, Indicted
May 15, 2008

Senator McCain, just one question before you go: ARE YOU ON CRACK?

I heard excerpts from McCain's speech on Rush today, and I'm done. I've been trying to polish this turd since McAmnesty won the nomination, but it's still a disgusting piece of shit, and I'm through. Don't get me wrong, I'll still go vote against Obama on Election Day, but even if we do keep Chocolate Jesus from the presidency, America is still going to get the presidential equivalent of a prison colonoscopy over the next four years.

McCain's big "achievement" in the next four years will be bipartisanship? Would that be bipartisanship where both sides work to get the best outcome possible, or would it be the usual Washington game where Republicans curl up into the fetal position while Charlie "Damien 'Football' Williams" Rangel uses a concrete block to cave in their skulls? His other goals are laughably lacking any details of how the hell we're going to get them accomplished. Senator, your plans make the "Underpants Gnomes" version of a business plan look like the senior project of a Harvard MBA candidate by comparison.

I'm now resigned to the fact that the next four years will be one long assault on free speech rights, second amendment rights, American sovereignty & border control, and our general business climate too. Jeebus Kee-rist, with this speech, McAmnesty is walking into Huckabee territory with me, and he's now officially "Huck sans Bible".

My plan? I'll coat my guns in cosmoline & bury them in the woods. My wife and I are slightly smarter than "the average bear", so we'll be able to spend some time to teach Moses all the things that our wonderful Government School System "forgets" to cover. I'm not a bad karaoke singer (my "Folsom Prison Blues" will bring tears to your eyes, man), so I'll be able to sing for change on street corners once McAmnesty or Obama destroy the construction industry by importing millions of Mexicans willing to put in a day's work for three Hershey bars and an apple. My wife works for the State, so we're OK there, since neither McAmnesty or his other (D) opponents will cut government.

If anyone needs me, I'll be over in the corner freaking out with Corporal Hudson.

digg this
posted by Russ from Winterset at 04:10 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Miklos, up in the chaep seats: " As late as 100 years ago people died from gum dis ..."

Infidel: "There is a spot off I-70 in Glenwood Springs that ..."

boulder t'hobo: ""a god in the hunt" You did not want to mess wi ..."

kallisto: "Way too many ugly bodies on clothing optional beac ..."

The Man from Athens: "The vast majority of those Walmart pics are photos ..."

Pug Mahon, Not Actually Irish: "I approve this phrase. It is most metal. Posted b ..."

ThePrimordialOrderedPair: "[i] Not really. Just curious. I wear straight out ..."

Bandersnatch, fish brag pics welcome at e-mail in nic: "[i]In my yewt I frequented a couple of wilderness ..."

chavez the hugo: "can't really blame walmart for that shit. might as ..."

The Man from Athens: "Poll conducted in the USA: Out of 1,000 people re ..."

RI Red: "Bif, if GB had rolled up the Highway of Death to B ..."

Rodrigo Borgia: "> I just get tired of the reversed mindset that Wa ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64