Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support
Kos Disappears Kantor "WWN" Diary | Main | Scandi Porn: Seal Rapes a Penguin
May 02, 2008

Funny, Fake (?) Craigslist Personals

I'm super rich, but I don't want women to love me for my money, so I can only meet you anonymously through Craigslist, but seriously, I am rich. But I'm not going to show it or spend a lot of money on you, because I don't want you to like me for that.

But I have a tender side. Sometimes, I see a hobo. And when I see the hobo, I think to myself, "This man is poor. His monetary value is low, and my monetary value is high, and it's a shame that he is himself. What can I do?"

I ask the hobo if he would rather have booze or money to buy booze. If he says he wants the money, I don't give it to him because I know he'll buy booze with it. But if he says he wants the booze, I give him the money because I value honesty, even among lying hobos.

Come over and jo (jag off) with me and my model train collection. PS, I'm not gay.

Read through it. He really wants you to come over for a shared solo in his model train room and then stomp around and kick over the trains "like a giant monster."

Now that's what I call a mantuary.

Thanks to PetiteDov and Ken.



digg this
posted by Ace at 06:33 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Lauren: "Oh the poor baby. Evil fucks. ..."

Tammy al-Thor is Ginger no more: "[i]I would be willing to bet this mother will neve ..."

ThunderB: "That's why something's up. A normal parent would s ..."

Monica Lewinsky Kneepad Czar: ""Liberals: Obama is the First President to Ever Be ..."

Romeo13: "175 "I'm gonna be a brokeback Cowboy!" Screw yo ..."

BCochran1981 - Tatted, Rested and Ready: "[i]Posted by: ChristyBlinky Wilberforced Mr. Ed at ..."

---: "[i] I have to hand it to the brainless little libe ..."

Splunge: "[i]126 The rules about mandatory reporting are a b ..."

boulder t'hobo: "[i]Posted by: Michael Sam at September 02, 2014 10 ..."

Joe "Stand Up" Biden: "[i]FDR golfing?[/i]It's possible. ..."

Michael the Hobbit: "I used to have to occasionally deal with hydrofluo ..."

Ricardo Kill: ""I'm gonna be a brokeback Cowboy!"Screw you. (Not ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64