A Room of His Own: "Mantuaries"

I concede: Yes. Very yes.

When Vicki and Brian Meldrum bought their first home four years ago in Cleveland, they made a pact: She could decorate and furnish the rest of the 1,110-square-foot house however she wanted, but the 15-by-10-foot finished basement was his.

Brian Meldrum filled his "man cave" in the basement with vintage movie posters and sports memorabilia.

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But for Brian, it's not just about holding onto the ratty futon and the "Fletch" movie poster from his bachelor days. It's about having a "mantuary," or "man cave" -- a space just for him where he can watch sports uninterrupted or play Xbox games with his buddies.

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But retreating to the cave will only get a guy so far.

"I work with a lot with couples where it's an issue that the guy is always on the computer and the gal is feeling like he's not there for her," Brody says. "The man cave in many instances can be more harmful than helpful because it develops distance, it establishes a barrier, and people take it personally."

An all-or-nothing approach to spending time together (or apart) is never the answer, Brody says: Talk it out and split the difference.

"As ridiculous as the idea of watching six hours of golf is to my wife, that's how ridiculous the idea of watching six hours of 'America's Next Top Model' is to me," Brian Meldrum says.

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"It doesn't have to be Batman. It's just a place where somebody goes and has a meaningful experience," Brody says.

"Meaningful experience." Why, I've heard some Japanese officials have 2,800 such meaningful experiences per day.

posted by Ace at 04:40 PM

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