Sponsored Content




Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!



Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups

NoVaMoMe 2024: 06/08/2024
Arlington, VA
Details to follow


Texas MoMe 2024: 10/18/2024-10/19/2024 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had for info





















« Nader Gives Advice to Clinton | Main | PKK rebels die from TV withdrawl and Turkish army action, but mostly Turk action. »
March 29, 2008

AoS Lifestyletm Pharmaceuticals, LLC [krakatoa]

In an ongoing effort to "broaden brand appeal" Ace green-lighted a foray into health-care, with the predictable outcome.

A rattlesnake rancher who calls himself Bayou Bob found a new way to make money: Stick a rattler inside a bottle of vodka and market the concoction as an "ancient Asian elixir."

Unfortunately for Bob, and in true AoS spirit, he never bothered to find out if his actions were illegal. He is now being charged with selling alcohol without a license, and possession of alcohol with intent to sell.

Popplewell said he will fight the charges. His intent, he said, is not to sell an alcoholic beverage but a healing tonic. He said he has customers of Asian descent who believe the concoction has medicinal properties.

"It's almost a spiritual thing," said Popplewell, 63.

Preach on, Brother Bob!

Even if Popplewell intended his drink be used as a healing tonic — an assertion the alcohol commission disputes — his use of vodka requires a state permit, authorities said.

"It's sold for beverage purposes, and he knows what he's doing," commission Sgt. Charlie Cloud said.

Methinks Sgt. cloud gives Bob just a little too much credit, if I know my AoS Lifestyle cohorts. Knowing what one is doing hardly ever makes the working copy of any AoS business plan.

How do I know he's one of the flock? Let's let him speak for himself:

Popplewell said he uses the cheapest vodka he can find as a preservative for the snakes. The end result is a super sweet mixed drink that Popplewell compared to cough syrup.

Is it safe? And more importantly, does it work?

"I've honestly never seen a person drink it," he said.

Indeed. 5 parts Val-u-Rite, 2 parts Viper, and 9 parts pure speculative fiction. Well played sir!

The press does dig up some support for him though. One Asian studies expert prodded for comment did indeed grant Bayou Bob a little credit, relating the concoction to the infamous "Snake Alley" in Taiwan:

...street vendors put the gall bladder of a freshly killed snake into a glass of strong liquor. The drink, sold to the highest bidder, is supposed to improve eyesight and sexual performance, said lecturer Camilla Hsieh.

"It's like the ancient version of Viagra," Hsieh said.

However, our AoS Lone Star stringer Dave in Texas maintains that real men like him handle their E.D. the old fashioned way:

"I generally will blow about 20 bucks on a cheap hooker, spend the next 30 minutes sobbing uncontrollably into said hooker's lap, and finish the night off with the ceremonial lighting of a hobo on fire."
digg this
posted by xgenghisx at 08:09 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere [/i] [/b]: "[i]Could use some seals. Tell me about it Post ..."

Lady Who Always Has a Burning Question: "A scene I could appreciate, from the shore. In th ..."

Can't see it Elaine!: "*he designed ship camouflage for the U.S. Navy* ..."

Bulgaroctonus: "Lee shore... Posted by: AMITY 365 Lee? Th ..."

Warai-otoko: "I decided early on in life that "Waugh" rhymes wit ..."

ShainS -- Blood-Bath-and-Beyond angel investor [/b][/i][/s][/u]: "You no nooding bastages! Posted by: 18-1 JT no ..."

nurse ratched : "The cabin boys will need comforting! And snuggle ..."

Bulgaroctonus: "I can hear Mike Rowe's voice: "150 miles to the ..."

[/i][/u][/s][/b]Muldoon: " Outcropping - a limerick Upon the rocks, the ..."

JTB: "Love this. Waugh really captured the color of an o ..."

AMITY 365: "Lee shore... ..."

Lizzy[/i]: ">>It's probably the ocean crashing ashore on a roc ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64