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March 17, 2008

A Three-Way Gubernatorial Scrum

This story is now kinda old. I held off posting it because 1, it's just a claim from a shady kind of guy (the claim itself, if true, makes him shady), and 2, if untrue, it's a nasty thing to say about a victim in all this, and 3... uccchh.

And also: Even I'm tired of kinky Democratic sex scandals at this point.

Jim McGreevey's driver says he had three-way "hot sex" with McGreevey and his wife Dina, casting doubt on Dina's claims to have been shocked by McGreevey's homosexuality. Which is sort of "Who cares?"

It's also borderline plausible anyway. I guess a gay guy could sell this to his wife as not gay. "It will really help our marriage." Who knows.

If true, though, it paints an even more corrupt picture of McGreevey.

I'm sure no one's surprised to learn the media is once again airbrushing party members who've fallen out of favor out of the picture. Yes, Guess! That! Party! once again, this time from both NewJersey.com and AP. You'd almost think they were... doing this deliberately or something.

Little Miss Attila wants to know why it's gay for two dudes to be in bed with each other if there's another woman. Well, if there is guy-to-guy stuff going on, obviously it's gay. And even if there's not... it's still pretty gay, actually.

Why? Just is. Most straight guys have a One Penis Rule when it comes to sex. That rule may be bent if a girl insists, but most straight guys aren't thinking "You know what would make this sex even hotter? Another dude's penis and hairy ass."

There's also the possibility of, um, friendly fire. 'Nuff said.

I remember when I first logged on to the Internet, way back in, what, 1996? And I was on AOL (of course). And I was cruising dirty chat rooms (of course) and especially the lesbian ones (of course).

But I remember a lot of rooms were of the "Please have sex with my wife and let me watch" sort.

Weird. I don't get it. Then again, I don't really get vagina, either. It's like some kind of warm pudendal caprese with a side of free-range taint. Every sex dream I have ends the same way: Me, in a restaurant, with a lobster bib, screaming at the waiters "This is not what I ordered!"

PS, for any new readers, I have to toss these vagina-knocking statements on occasion. It gets me hits from the left, who are all perpetually shocked at how unintentionally self-revealing about my confused sexual identity I am.

And Mom -- no, I'm not trying to tell you I'm gay. Your other sons...? Iffy at best, but me? Solid.

Bonus: Virgin Mobile enlists a new celebrity spokesman -- Elliot Spitzer.

Hidden Bonus Track: Know why "They" took out Elliot Spitzer? To cover up "The Truth" about 9/11, natch.

Thanks to Conservative Belle.

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posted by Ace at 12:15 PM

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