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It's Like They're Speaking a Different Language | Main | Sending News Tips To Morons
March 16, 2008

Coffee, Tea, or Me?

Ace of Spades Lifestyle (TM), aerial division.

A 21-year-old Harris County woman filed a $200,000 lawsuit against American Airlines alleging employees on a flight to Los Angeles from Dallas/Fort Worth Airport failed to protect her while she slept from another passenger who masturbated to her and ejaculated in her hair, according to a lawsuit she filed last week in Tarrant County.


...

Destined for a Spring Break visit with family and friends March 19, the woman flew from Houston to DFW Airport and had settled into her seat for the last leg of flight 2074 to Los Angeles about 11 p.m., the suit states. The woman slept most of the flight, but awoke about 20 minutes before landing when the pilot announced the plane was on decent into Los Angeles. When the woman opened her eyes, she saw that an unknown man had moved into the seat next to her and was staring at her as he masturbated, the suit states.

The woman turned toward the window in embarrassment and in an act of nervousness began to run her fingers through her hair where she noticed a substantial amount of an extremely sticky substance in her hair, the suit states.

The man was arrested.

Squares. In Europe they don't have these childish American hang-ups about assaulting someone with flying genetic material. When I was in France, for example, I sat next to a pleasant grandmother sleeping on a train. Cute as a button; must have been ninety five years young.

Anyhoo, I left more DNA on her than OJ left at Rockingham, and she just stirred a little and said "Touche."

Thanks to LauraW.


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posted by Ace at 01:39 PM

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