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November 30, 2007

Rudy Used Security Force "Like A Taxi Service" For Then-Lover Judtih Nathan

Another old one by now. If I were a stronger Rudy partisan I might argue it's not a big deal. I think it's rather not a big deal, actually, but I'm not so invested in him as to feel the need to argue it.

I find this more scandalous, actually. Pinkerton here riffs on jokes we've been making for a while, but they're still good:

Here's Giuliani, quoted in an Associated Press story from last week, headlined, "Giuliani promotes virtual fence." Explains the former mayor, "Frankly, the virtual fence is more valuable because it alerts you to people approaching the border, it alerts you to people coming over the border."

That sounds like a good plan, doesn't it? After all, you use a virtual lock on your front door, right? That way, when intruders approach your house, you can spot them. And when they walk in, well, a police SWAT team is on the way. The key to this enforcement strategy, to be sure, is to respond after the crime has occurred. So it's strange, therefore, that Giuliani insists that he wants to build at least some physical wall.

Because virtuality works better, Giuliani assures us. After all, that's why we have virtual prison walls and jail cells, right? You see, when the bad guys escape, an alarm goes off, satellites up in space look down, and helicopters fly over and scoop them up. And if the inmates try it again, well, we just repeat the apprehending process till they cry uncle.

So that's the plan for fending off terrorists from around the world - not to mention any of the 500 million South and Central Americans who might wish to come to this country illegally. We'll spot 'em and nab 'em before they get to Des Moines.

His column finishes with the shocking news that that exciting new technological means of long-range border-crossing detection just don't work.

"Mr. Kittrick, after careful consideration, I've come to the conclusion that your new system sucks."


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posted by Ace at 01:34 AM

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