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November 14, 2007

An Open Letter To CNN Anchor Rick Sanchez


Sir:

Are you fucking retarded?

When was the last time you were tested? Maybe you caught the retard bug on an airplane or something. Lot of that going around at CNN, I hear.


Don't eat anything you find under the sink,

Ace

PS, Retard Rick:

Not only did McCain do his best to deflect the question, and not only is calling Hillary a bitch in jest not particularly offensive, but is your fucking head parked so far up your ass you think this is going to hurt McCain's chances in the GOP?

...


I guess the "B-word" is the new "N-word," huh?

Speaking of "mad libs", here's one:

When I watch Rick Sanchez, I feel my brain literally _________.

Heh: Nice Deb says "McCain has lost the 'Bitch' vote."


Something Else To Go Bananas About, Rick: Phil Jackson calls a game in which his team suffered too much "penetration" a "Brokeback Mountain game."


Eesh: Some truly vile dirt on Rick below.


Bill said I should google "rick sanchez drunk driving" to find out more about my new retarded pen pal.

Okay:

After doing this [schlock tabloid reporting] for far too long, The Rickster started to move up. And mow people down. At a Dolphins game he got a little (OK A LOT) too drunk and ran someone over. The man died. Rick drove off and continued home, where he proceeded to "drink to calm his nerves" and eventually called the cops. When they arrived at his house, there was no proof he was drunk at the time of the crime because he claimed he got drunk at home BEFORE calling the cops. Yea whatever. He eventually pleaded "no contest" to DUI but never really got into very much trouble because his lawyers managed to put most of the blame on the other "drunk" guy who decided to jump out in front of The Ricksters new car.

Everyone got that? He ran over a guy and killed him. Then he raced home and immediately got slosh-drunk by chugging vodka afterwards (he was stone sober before!) just to "calm his nerves." Then he called the cops to report his own hit-and-run.

I bet he's a fan of Ted Kennedy.

Gee, Rick, that sounds a bit worse than McCain not being properly outraged by the word "bitch," doesn't it?

Words can hurt.

You know what else can hurt? A drunken hit-and-run, Rick.

Supposedly... He has political opinions "just to the right of Pinochet."

Doesn't matter to me. He's a buffoon and a drunken hit-and-runner.

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posted by Ace at 06:36 PM

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