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August 12, 2007

Plan B (eman)

When I listened to experts on TV tell me that I will need X number of boatloads of money to retire in comfort, and I looked at the fact that I have $45 in the bank and no time left to build up the Trump-like cash they said I should have, Plan B was born.

Plan B is not a traditional retirement. I like to call it “I’m on vacation”. In fact that is just what every fine Police Officer who is just doing his duty will hear from me when he or she is checking my ID with a flashlight under a highway overpass. Plan B is simple. It requires only me, a backpack, a small quantity of savings (I can do it), my Massachusetts retirement outlays, and the open road.

Plan B will initiate in a few years, that is when the Mass money will be available and my kids will be done with college; then, time to head out. Certainly, big cities should be avoided; some may mistake me for a hobo. (I guess I should train myself to always be looking out for a red laser dot.) Adventure and intrigue await me. The closing music from “The Incredible Hulk” will follow me as I drift into the sunset. Babes of all types and too many to remember will fill my nights. I’ll stumble onto a UFO refueling station deep in Idaho. They will give me gifts of their technology and wisdom. I will find the hidden factory where flying cars are made, but kept from us on purpose. My photos and anecdotes will be posted on the Internet for all to see. Hollywood agents will track me down and beg me to take their millions.

I will take the money and run. A small fragment of the cash will start The Center for Moron Studies.

Are there any other Plan Bs out there?

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posted by xgenghisx at 09:30 PM

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