Why Do All These Truthers Keep Supporting My Campaign?

A Guest Editorial By Dr. Ron Paul

Look, I’m not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I’ve been having a real problem with these Truthers. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts talking about melted steel and conspiracies.

Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy who was attending one of my rallies. Nothing weird, just a couple of fellas talking about the gold standard, the true meaning of the Constitution and the suspicious lack of Jews at the World Trade Center on September 11. The guy looked like a real conservative, with the proper opinions and fervor for the cause. He didn’t seem the least bit crazy. At least not until he handed me a DVD with the movie “Loose Change” on it.

Where does this guy get the nerve to hand me that video? Did I look Truthery to him? Was I wearing a “Investigate 9/11″ t-shirt without realizing it? I don’t recall the phrase, “9/11 Truth” entering the conversation, and I don’t have a sign around my neck that reads, “Please, You Truthers, Talk to Me About Melting Steel.”

I've got nothing against Truthers. Let them be free to do their doubting the government line on 9/11 thing in peace, I say. But when they start thinking I’m one of them, then I've got a real problem.

Then there was the time I was hiking through the woods and came across a scruffy-looking, blond-haired man in his early 20s. He seemed okay enough to me while we were talking about the missile that hit the Pentagon, but, before you know it, he's trying to record my words for something he called “Loose Change 3.0!”

What is it with these Truthers? Can't they control their crazy? Aren't there enough other Truther types for them to talk to without them having to target normal people like me?

Believe me, I have no interest in getting involved in a conversation about controlled demolitions and suspicious looking dust plumes. But try telling that to the idiots at 9/11 Truth.com. Or the lady who handed me that video. Or the group “Students for 9/11 Truth” who talked to me at a party recently. All of them talked their crazy Trutherism at me, and there was nothing I could do to stop them.

I tell you, when a Truther is going on with their theories, a lot of strange thoughts go through your head: How the hell did this happen? Where did this jerkoff ever get the idea that I was a Truther? And he has got some fantastic ideas on the obvious lies of Popular Mechanics!

It screws with your head at other times, too. Every time a guy wearing a “9/11 Truth” shirt passes me on the street, I'm afraid he's going to grab me and drag me off to yet another viewing of “Loose Change.” I've even started to think of my own theories that cast doubt on the “official government story” of what happened that day while denying my Trutherism during a debate and then there’s that book by that French guy that I can't seem to stop thinking about.

Things could be worse, I suppose. It could be Jews and their powerful banking interests trying to support my candidacy, which would be just wrong and would make me feel tremendously guilty. As it is, I'm just angry and sickened. But believe me, that's enough. I don't know what makes these Truthers mistake me for a guy who wants their support, and, frankly, I don't want to know. I just wish there were some way to get them to stop.

I've tried all sorts of things to get them to stop, but it has all been to no avail. A few months back, I started going on the Alex Jones show and talking crazy in the hopes that it would frighten those jerks off, but it didn't work. In fact, it only seemed to encourage them. Then, I really started getting rough, talking about how America was to blame for the attacks of September 11, but that failed, too. Even suggesting the United States would fake a Gulf of Tonklin situation to justify their doctrine of eternal war didn’t work. What do I have to do to get the message across to these nutjobs?

I swear, if these Truthers don't take a hint and quit writing about me, and marching down the street chanting about the truth of 9/11 while holding my signs, I'm going to have to resort to drastic measures–like maybe pinning them down during a rally and telling them that no, fire has never melted steel and it’s obvious that WTC 7 was brought down by a controlled demolition and dammit, that was a POD on the bottom of that plane so they understand loud and clear just how much I disapprove of their unwelcome support.

I mean, you can't get much more direct than that.

With apologies to The Onion

posted by Slublog at 04:28 PM

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