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Superstition on Sesame Street | Main | Continental Airlines Boots Mom Off Flight Because Her Toddler Won't Shut His Piehole
July 13, 2007

CLAIM: Major Pakistani Offensive In Taliban-Held "Tribal Areas"
Update: Will History Record That Al Qaeda Was Ultimately Defeated By Five Chinese Hookers?

From the Dawn, a Pakistani paper (I'm pretty sure) I've seen linked a lot, though I don't know if it's a highly credible source.

The army started deploying troops in NWFPs southern districts, adjoining the Waziristan region, amid reports that an operation to curb militancy and extremism was imminent.

Sources told Dawn on Thursday that 12,000 troops, backed by artillery units, were moved to Tank and Dera Ismail Khan districts from Okara.


Militants spokesman Abdullah Farhad accused the government of violating the peace agreement signed on September 5, 2006, under which it had to withdraw all troops.

Sources said that soldiers reinforced their positions around Miramshah town, headquarters of the North Waziristan Agency, and started checking vehicles, looking for heavy arms.

Adding to the credibility of the report: Musharraf Declares War on Extremists:

President Pervez Musharraf pledged to combat Muslim extremists across Pakistan yesterday as furious crowds demonstrated against the storming of the Red Mosque and two suicide bomb attacks left six dead.

In a televised address to the nation, Gen Musharraf said that those inside the mosque and its adjacent madrassa, or Muslim college, were "terrorists" who directly threatened Pakistan's security. They had also tarnished Islam's reputation as a tolerant and peaceful religion.

"What do we as a nation want?" he asked. "What kind of Islam do these people represent? In the garb of Islamic teaching they have been training for terrorism. They prepared the madrassa as a fortress for war and housed other terrorists in there."

Gen Musharraf praised the army for wresting the mosque and its madrassa "from the hands of terrorists" and said: "I will not allow any madrassa to be used for extremism."

Regarding Waziristan, where soldiers are said to be checking for heavy weapons:

In North Waziristan, the tribal area where both Zawahiri and bin Laden are believed to have found sanctuary, a suicide bomber walked into a government compound and blew himself up, killing three officials.

It seems, as the kids say, to be "on."

Thanks to Rockets Brain Trust.

For Want Of A Nail Update: WickedPinto (of the Absolute Moral Authority blog asks "How can it be on if no one got served?"

Well, the Red Mosque told an alleged brothel of Chinese hookers they they were served and abducted them -- and tortured them. The Chinese government then told the Pakistani government that it was served, and it would not allow its citizens to be tortured by maniacs. Then the Pakistani government told the Red Mosque it just got served, and the Red Mosque said no, you just got served, but then the Pakisani troops assaulted the school/maniac factory and informed them in no uncertain terms that they were in fact the ones being served.

Here's the odd thing: Assume, as the Telegraph article says, that Musharraf is largely being backed in this anti-jihadi offensive. Assume that he really takes the fight to the Waziristan/tribal regions Taliban, and either ends their safe havens, or actually even wipes out Al Qaeda's strongholds in Pakistan.

Assume -- dare to dream -- Zawahiri and bin Ladin (if he's still alive, which he probably isn't) are flushed out by this action, and soon after captured someplace else where they don't have sanctuary.

What this all means is that five years of negotiations, diplomacy, billions of dollars of aid/bribes, serious US threats against Pakistan, an invasion of Afghanistan, etc., could not accomplish what fucking with five or six Chinese hookers accomplished.

Would it be too sweet if Al Qaeda was ultimately brought down by their hatred of "whores" (often called "women" in other parts of the world)?

Democracy, whiskey, sex-workers?

It would all just be too poetic and ironic to be believed. Life doesn't work like that.

Except in the occasional circumstance in which it does.

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