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June 29, 2007

For The Ron Paul Spambots

First of all, don't you stupid motherfuckers feel a little pathetic having nothing better to do with your time than google the name of your gay love fixation all day long and pester normal people about fucking Ron Paul?

Do you work? Do you work specifically for Ron Paul? Do you realize how goddamned much you're creeping the rest of us out with your zombie-like thralldom?

Let me make this clear:

Ron Paul is not a viable candidate for President. He is a crank. A Bircheresque, conspiracy-wallowing, Truther-pandering crank.

Everyone, except you morons, understands he is a crank.

He could not win the Republican nomination if his opponents were only Sam I Am Brownback, Charles Manson, the dessicated corpse of Atilla the Hun and Yoko Ono.

You should just all grow the fuck up and stop wasting your goddamned time.

Everytime I read your creepily devoted posts I feel like I've blundered into some boyband fan site where everyone's got a crush on the dreamy RP (the motorcycle-riding badboy from the wrong side of the tracks who nevertheless can croon in the most romantic, heartfelt way). Your political, legal, and constitutional analysis fails to rise above the level of "'N Sync? More like 'N Stink!"

It is time, as they say, to become an adult, and put away foolish things.

Here's one video for you idiots. You all remind me of the Nazis here, constantly saying "He's right, you know."

Here's another one:

Watch it. Learn it. Live it.


And for the love of God All Mighty, stop creeping the rest of us out with your pathetic, stalkerish obsessions.


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posted by Ace at 08:30 PM

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