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April 25, 2007
On The Huffington Post: "How To Tell If Your Husband Is Gay"Lapsed Leftist brings the Big Funny in suggesting a surefire reason to suspect your husband is gay: "Your name is Arianna Huffington." The post is inspired by this ABCNews story titled The [Former NJ Governor Jim] McGreevey Effect: Is Your Husband Gay? Here's some sage advice: It's a larger number than people suspect," said Bonnie Kaye, the author of "Is He Gay? A Checklist of Women Who Wonder." But what about specifics? How can you actually tell? ABCNews provides a list. Some of these are real; some of these I just made up. In a couple of cases you may have trouble telling the real ones from the fake ones. In her book, Kaye included "The Gay Husband Checklist," which lists ways for women to detect whether or not their husband is gay: Okay, basically, the odd numbered ones are real -- straight from the ABC article -- and the even numbered ones were fake. Which means that these "subtle hints" were real: If your husband is turned off by the thought of touching your vaginal area or performing oral sex on you. Best friend gay -- okay, I can see that one going either way; one of my best buds is a homo. Turned off by cunninglingus? Eh, a lot of guys don't dig that. Who the hell knows what's going on down there. It's like H.R. Geiger giving up ink and canvas to work in the avant-garde medium of Play-Doh and bacon. But hanging out in gay bars and enjoying watching gay porn and cruising gay websites? We need a book to alert us of these "subtle hints"? Dear Ace of Spades Advisor, Lately I've become concerned that my husband may be gay. The other day he said he was going out bowling but by chance I stumbled upon him at a highway rest stop. Literally stumbled upon him. He was writhing around naked on the ground with eight other naked men like a frenzy of copulating snakes. Should I "read anything into this," or just assume it was all maybe due to a bet he lost while bowling? Sincerely, Confused in Seattle
Are you retarded? Sincerely, Ace of Spades Advisor Some more wisdom: Buxton is skeptical that there are clear signs of gayness. I think the gay bar and gay porn thing are pretty clear signs. "Straight men like to cook and decorate and there are gay men who like to do construction work so it's hard to generalize like that." She went on to add that "straight men like to blow other dudes, and some gay men are all about the 'gina, so again, it's very hard to establish clear 'rules.'"
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The Jury is Deadlocked in the Daniel Penny Soros Prosecution
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