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March 22, 2007

Hah, Hah: Andrew Sullivan Argues With Jonah Goldberg In Between Arguing With Himself

Priceless! I pretty much could have written the beginning of it myself -- it's pretty obvious what Sullivan will write; even when you figure he could take either of two positions, you can safely guess he'll take both and thus predicting him is easy -- but I was not expecting a "poor me" attack on NRO for not linking his hysterical bullshit more frequently.

Jonah Goldberg cannot resist the usual crack. Yes, I was led to believe by Politico that Elizabeth Edwards was in a serious medical state and that the campaign would therefore be suspended. That information turned out to be premature. We found out, as Edwards explained, that subsequent testing relieved many of their worst, earlier worries and so they were going to press on. I think the decision in both cases was admirable. If she was seriously sick, it was right to suspend the campaign. If she can carry on, I think it's admirable to carry on as well. There is no self-contradiction in my views, just a change of facts. A blog reacts to facts as they arrive. When the facts change, a blog can change its mind. What else am I supposed to do? But, yes, I also think a lot of the Edwardses. I think they're a class act. I'd have supported them in either decision. I actually believe them and trust them on these questions.

That doesn't even make sense, does it? Edwards is a hero for dropping out; Edwards is a hero for staying in; Edwards would be a hero for just brushing his teeth vigorously for two minutes. The "facts" change, but Sullivan's creepy hero worship and hormones-oozing emotionalism doesn't.

If he wouod have supported them "in either decision," he might have said so, rather than proclaiming one to be the perfect, noble choice at 12:17 and then the directly contradictory choice to be the perfect, noble choice at 12:39.

What. A. Hump.

And then, of course, it gets fun as he whines about being "blacklisted" by NRO because he's such a scary-important threat to the conservative orthodoxy.

NRO spent much more ink on D'Souza's excrescence than on the serious and increasingly salient critiques that Bartlett and I have made about the Bush administration.... But one day I think most conservatives will realize that Bruce and I were right on key issues - on religious extremism, fiscal irreponsibility and civil liberties - and had the balls to say so when it mattered.

"Increasingly salient"? "Balls"?

I'm sorry, I have to point this out:

Main Entry: 1sa·lient Pronunciation: 'sA-ly&nt, -lE-&nt Function: adjective Etymology: Latin salient-, saliens, present participle of salire to leap -- more at SALLY

More at Sally, indeed.

She doth have a high opinon of herself. If Sullivan has balls, why does he always sound so excruciatingly menstrual?


Butch up, Sally. Your book didn't sell because it sucked. I know you think it's the most important book ever written. But then you consider each of your stools to be the most important, most symetrical, most sublimely beautiful bowel movements ever taken. Get over yourself and stop staring iun dewey-eyed besmittenness at your own shit.

Is this the new theory? Waaah, The Conservative Soul didn't sell because Jonah Goldberg didn't toss me enough mercy links. Waaaaaah.

Jesus, what a joke.

"Salient."

Hee, hee.

Why Is Everything So Excessively Personalized? St. Andrew was caught in an embarrassing, but hardly fatal, contradiction. Certainly it pales in comparison to his one scorching people for tossing around the derogatory word for Christians, "Christers," and then, just a few years later, re-popularizing the dergotory word for Christians, "Christianists," and huffily claiming the term is not offensive to "true Christians."

He could have just said, "Yes, I was searching for a way to support the Edwards family through this crisis, and, without giving the matter much thought, reflexively praised the family for making one decision, and then reflexively praised them for an opposite decision when I learned they'd changed their minds. It's not really such a horrible thing to speak a good word about a family suffering a cancer scare, is it?"

But the guy has absolutely no sense of humor about himself, and is far too egotistical and narcissistic to even admit such a low level of fault.

And thus a bit of needling from Jonah Goldberg becomes, as always, a pretext to return to Andrew Sullivan's favorite subject, Andrew Sullivan, and his favorite theme relating to that subject, Why Is Everyone So Blind And Dishonest As To Not Be Capable Of Recognizing That Everything Andrew Sullivan Writes Is Well-Nigh The Word of MIGHTY GOD HIMSELF.

And so we have Elizabeth Edwards diagnosed with serious cancer, and Sullivan is roused to say a nice word about her; but the real emotion comes when Jonah Goldberg dares to poke fun at him for a bit of hackery. Why didn't you give my book more publicity!?!

One can almost smell the salt in the angry tears.

What's that old joke? It's sad when a school collapses in Ecuador, killing dozens; but it's a TRAGEDY when my car won't start.

And that other old joke about the fickleness of the weather: Don't like Andrew Sullivan's opinion? Stick around for five minutes, it'll change.


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posted by Ace at 06:25 PM

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