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February 07, 2007

Ted Haggard Is Now "Completely Heterosexual," And He's Got A Little Certificate of Effort To Prove It

Which puts him well ahead of you homos in the Hetero Derby.

Where do I get my Heterosexual Certification Card? Because sometimes I'm walking down the street and some hooligans call me a fag. I sure would like to bust out that laminate and shut them up. It would make my weekly pilgrimmage to Bed Bath & Beyond a lot more pleasant.

Citing the Book of Ruth, Ted Haggard explains
that King David had "an ass you just want to grab
and go absolutely apeshit on."

posted by Ace at 06:01 PM

| Access Comments


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It would make my weekly pilgrimmage to Bed Bath & Beyond a lot more pleasant. Citing the Book of Ruth, Ted Haggard explains that King David had "an ass you just want to grab and go absolutely apeshit on." posted by Ace at 06:01 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments Adriane the Fruit Pie Chart of the Month Club Critic . . .: "Rain ? ..." Taboo family sex: "Time Extension. Hookshot Media. Archived from the ..." Skip : "U since that 2am comment ..." 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