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December 09, 2006

Ask Dr. Lauraw

The Non-Denominational All-Purpose Marginally Christ-Oriented Generic Santa Holiday Season is upon us.

This is typically when the most family friction and lifestyle angst arise.

I think I hit a common chord by stating that most of us here deal with difficult issues by imbibing coma-inducing amounts of liquor or illegal drugs, and spending the Great Season in a trash can behind the nearest hospital.

Right? Yeah, I'm right.
I know, because when I wake up on New Year's Eve, there's a bunch of morons in the dumpster next to me making Paul Anka repartee:

(Wiserbud standing ankle deep in used colostomy bags)

"First order of business, no T-shirts on stage. HAR HAR!"

(Entropy lying half-upright with his legs buried in a pile of empty pudding cups)

"What is this confusion on these endings? You want fucking Vinnie Falcone on front? You want a conductor that'll sit and ride your asses? Do you want your jobs? You guys are on thin ice. That's just the fucking. Way. It is! BLAAARGH HA HA HA HAAA!"

It seems very sad, if you've never seen their families.

That said, if you're bummed out over the holiday for any reason, please listen to this renowned pep talk from Mr. Paul Anka, which should energize just about anyone to feel better about their life and occupation.

And which also happens to be one of the keystones to the entire Ace of Spades experience.

I don't pull any punches with you guys. This is just the kind of kick that I'm on.

Back to basics.
Open thread my darlins.

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posted by Laura. at 10:28 PM

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