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December 07, 2006

Lindsay Lohan: Al Gore Will Help Me Fight The Media's Defamation of My Character!

Update: Apparently some people find this so perplexing and, well, insane that they think I parodized a Lohan email.

Nope. This is the genuine deal. The quotes are real quotes. Everything's from a Page Six item.

She's just this stupid and borderline insane.

She spells "adequate" as "adequite" again, too.

I've bolded some of the better parts, but you know what? It's all good. I should just bold the whole thing.

LINDSAY Lohan is preparing to clean up her image and go to war with the media with the help of a high-powered friend - former Vice President Al Gore.

"Al Gore will help me. He came up to me last night and said he would be very happy to have a conversation with me," Lohan wrote last week in a rambling, semi-literate e-mail to her friends and lawyers.

In the bizarre message read by Page Six, Lohan burbled, "If he is willing to help me, let's find out. Hilary [sic] Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Evan Metroplis [sic], and John Daur who works with them would be willing, if we just ask. If we just ASK."

Lohan was apparently inspired to send out the e-mail by a Page Six item on her "mean girls diva fit" at a GQ magazine party in L.A. Referring to a supermarket tabloid report claiming she had overdosed on drugs, she wrote, "Let's sue the tabloids for saying the things they say. Defamation of character."

Invoking what she puzzlingly calls the "way of the future-Howard Hughes," her desire is to "release a politically/morally correct, fully adequite [sic] letter to the press."

Lohan says she wants to state her opinions on "how our society should be educated for the better of our country. Our people . . . because I have such an impact on our younger generations, as well as generations older than me. Which we all know and can obviously see."

I think we have our new Chris Klein.

I have a good put-down for women like her. You're just not good-looking enough to get away with this personality.


Thanks to yls.

Bonus! Paris Hilton Wants Kids, Soon! I look after animals, so Id have a lot to give my kids.

Well, with all that money, she certainly could start her kids off with very well funded medical trust funds for breas augmentation and Herpes-treatment.


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posted by Ace at 02:32 PM

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