Terrific News | Main | Planned Outrages
November 18, 2006

Thanksgiving Advice

From Dave in Texas.

More Thanksgiving advice:

*Storebought pies are of the debbil. Don't do that. Pies are ridiculously easy to make, and the house smells so good when they're baking.

*If you have a full house and need to set up a separate table for the kiddies, try to orient it so that you can reach the back of the worst kid's head with a spatula. That way you won't have to get up during the meal.

*Put a long-handled spatula next to your plate.

*Give the turkey enough time to thaw. Your relatives don't want to see you desperately shoving a blowtorch inside Mr. Turkey on Thursday morning.

*If you can manage it, cooking the turkey breast-side down for much of the cooking time does help keep the breast meat moist.

*Seat your weird red-haired cousins in another room and shut the door.

*If their mother objects, put her in there too. She'll come back without them in three minutes. She'll keep her yap shut for the rest of the meal as a bonus.

*If livingroom seating is inadequate, throw something soft on the floor that the kids can lounge on during the football game, while the adults are sleeping.

I'm sure all you guys have other great ideas and helpful hints.


digg this
posted by Laura. at 05:31 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Deplorable Jay Guevara, now with a spark of divinity [/i][/b][/s]: "[i]292 Red Hen. Let the commie jokes start. P ..."

Hadrian the Seventh: " At the ballpark for the Royals-Astros game. An a ..."

bluebell: "it is far from the main area but it does overlook ..."

Boulder t'hobo: "STD registry? they have those? ..."

kallisto: "263. Someone needs to call OSHA to insure there a ..."

Diogenes: "Red Hen. Let the commie jokes start. ..."

Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine. Ask Me About SMR & Ancient Slavonaut Theory: "286. Great weapons. I've got two, and picked up a ..."

Mike Hammer, etc., etc.: "Funny how, I mean, funny like we're clowns? Post ..."

Caliban: "Kind of gives a new meaning to "Red Hen." ..."

Boulder t'hobo: "at the Boulder Latinx Festival. it is pouring with ..."

bluebell: "Well, actually, that was a stupid designer pun. Bu ..."

RedMindBlueState[/i][/b][/s][/u]: "CZ52. Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Pal ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64