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November 01, 2006

John Kerry Supports Expansion of "Very Special Forces"

The famed "Very Special Forces" haven't been deployed since Operation Desert Fox.

Morale is said to be high among members of the very special forces, who were flown Monday from Sheppard Air Force Base to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, in a squadron of specially modified C-130 "short planes." Upon arriving, the troops were given a thorough mission debriefing by Gen. James Herzog and a butterscotch-pudding snack cup. Each soldier was then issued an AR-15 rifle, three clips of NATO 7.62 mm rounds, a combat helmet with a velcro safety-strap, and a fanny pack with his name written on it in black magic marker.
"We are going to win the war," said Pvt. Richie Ammaker of Hagerstown, MD, eating his snack cup with a Capri-Sun juice-pak. "I love to clap and sing along to the music!"

"Colonel Gene [Diering] says that if we take out the communications tower in Al Basrah, we can have a pizza party," Pvt. Josh Paretsky of Dallas said. "Pizza party! Pizza party! Pizza party!"

"You're pretty," Paretsky added. "Will you marry me?"

A Onion classic from JamesT.

posted by Ace at 02:25 PM

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Rumors Fly That Kim Jong-un Has Been Assassinated in Beijing Good Parenting? Obama's Compromise: I'll Just Mandate That Employers Contract With Insurers To Cover Contraception For Free, and Hence Employers Cannot Be Said To Be Paying For It Straw Poll	« US Armed Retards Send Message To John Kerry \| Main \| Speaking of Retards... » November 01, 2006 John Kerry Supports Expansion of "Very Special Forces" The famed "Very Special Forces" haven't been deployed since Operation Desert Fox. Morale is said to be high among members of the very special forces, who were flown Monday from Sheppard Air Force Base to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, in a squadron of specially modified C-130 "short planes." Upon arriving, the troops were given a thorough mission debriefing by Gen. James Herzog and a butterscotch-pudding snack cup. Each soldier was then issued an AR-15 rifle, three clips of NATO 7.62 mm rounds, a combat helmet with a velcro safety-strap, and a fanny pack with his name written on it in black magic marker. "We are going to win the war," said Pvt. Richie Ammaker of Hagerstown, MD, eating his snack cup with a Capri-Sun juice-pak. "I love to clap and sing along to the music!" "Colonel Gene [Diering] says that if we take out the communications tower in Al Basrah, we can have a pizza party," Pvt. Josh Paretsky of Dallas said. "Pizza party! Pizza party! Pizza party!" "You're pretty," Paretsky added. "Will you marry me?" A Onion classic from JamesT. posted by Ace at 02:25 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments Hammersmith Police: "sTevo.That sucks but in a good way.Whittle rocks. ..." Hammersmith Police: "tap. tap. tap.Anyone in there?tap. tap? ..." sTevo: "http://tinyurl.com/7p3gq5qWhy we suck. ..." Hammersmith Police: "Imma have ^^to find ^^etc. ..." Hammersmith Police: "buy cott. I'm in.Imma have the best route to the n ..." 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