Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups






















« BREAKING: McCAIN JOKES ABOUT SUICIDE IF DEMS TAKE SENATE!!!! | Main | NYT Profits Plunge 39.2% »
October 19, 2006

And Now A Message From Howard Dean

Laughing out loud. For real. Not just meant as an expression.

It's the Homos, Stupid

An Open Letter to the Conservative-American Community

by Dr. Howard Dean
Chairman, Democratic National Committee

Dear Valued Potential Customer:

As the leader of one of America's premier political parties, I know firsthand the importance of building bridges to the various communities and constituencies we serve. Unfortunately, when serving as many diverse communities as we do at the DNC, sometimes an important relationship can inadvertently fall through the cracks. Frankly, I realize we have not always brought our "A Game" when it comes to the concerns of conservative-Americans. That's why we would like to take this opportunity to start a dialog with you, the conservative "values voter," by addressing an issue of vital importance to all of us -- the growing Republican homo menace.

Despite what you may have heard on Fox News, we Democrats know what issues are on the minds of heartland conservatives like you. We know that your number one concern of is the safety of your children -- whether they are plucking their banjos on the back porch, speaking tongues to snakes at Jesus Camp, or torching crosses at your local Nascar racing contest. We also know that the number one threat to your children's safety is the scourge of international homo-ism. That's why we at the DNC have created "The Contract With American Hillbillies," a new multipoint investigation program to identify and root out conservative stealth homoism before it threatens you or your precious little inbreeds.

What we have found so far has been shocking. You may have already read the disgusting story of Mark Foley, the Florida Republican gay pervert congressman who spent night after night on the godless internet discussing unnatural sex acts and interior decoration with innocent underaged pages. And now our investigators have learned that Idaho Republican Senator Larry Craig is less interested in Boise than he is in "boy-sies." Now that his sickening secret is out, the good conservative folks of Idaho can send this pansy packing to San Francisco where he can be Potato Queen in the the next pride parade.

He also writes of the GOP's problem with rampant negroism.

This pitch should resonate with you, because, let's be honest, you're all morons.


digg this
posted by Ace at 12:01 AM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
Eromero: "GOT is great! Praise Him with great praise. Amen ..."

blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (tT6L1): " Trans manifesto? Seems those are all the rage. ..."

Crusader: "I sure hope there's a price for New York to pay fo ..."

Hokey Pokey: "Justice! Peace! ..."

Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher: "Go away to do some work and come back to find we'r ..."

William F. 'Buck' Dharma: "So the CEO killer suspect still had the piece he u ..."

Anna Puma: "Trans manifesto? What is the manifesto identify ..."

Sponge - F*ck Cancer: "[i] Just read Taylor Lorenz was fired from her pod ..."

Pinochet Flight Attendant: "They don't know what time it is. They will find ou ..."

ShainS -- Deus Ex Muskina [h/t Mike Benz] [/b][/i][/s][/u] : "Sorry Mrs Peel, isn't Chauvin dead? Posted by: ..."

blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (tT6L1): "The left: Cops are the worst! The same left: Vi ..."

Altaria Pilgram: " Wife says, according to The Daily Mail, they pick ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64