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August 20, 2006

The Human Element

I just watched that Dow Chemical commercial for the eleventy-fifth time, and I am so hot to buy chemicals right now.
Potassium is bonding with potential?
Shit-howdy. Put me down for two hundred units. I'm a-spreadin' that-there potassium all over me, and the lawn too.

And then there's the National Geographic-style photography. Gorgeous. I got to have some of that.
I want colorful indigineously-woven fabrics blowing in the wind and sand dunes lit by the afternoon sun, and cute foreigners with character etched in their faces.
That would totally kick the shit out of the neighbors' fancy hydrangea bushes!

If anybody can give me Dow's 1-800 number, I'd like to call them and order a bunch of stuff.

UPDATE: This goes for BASF too. They told me that they don't make the things I buy, they make the things I buy better.
And I have a garage full of crappy-ass consumer products that either don't fit or don't work, but they won't return my phone calls to fix this shit.
It's crazy.
These companies advertise all the damn place, but they don't tell you how to buy what they're selling.
Infuriating.
Put me some fucking potassium, and fix my shoes, goddammit!


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posted by LauraW. at 06:15 PM

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