Snakes On A Plane Slithers To Eh Box Office | Main | Personal Ad Thread
August 20, 2006

The Human Element

I just watched that Dow Chemical commercial for the eleventy-fifth time, and I am so hot to buy chemicals right now.
Potassium is bonding with potential?
Shit-howdy. Put me down for two hundred units. I'm a-spreadin' that-there potassium all over me, and the lawn too.

And then there's the National Geographic-style photography. Gorgeous. I got to have some of that.
I want colorful indigineously-woven fabrics blowing in the wind and sand dunes lit by the afternoon sun, and cute foreigners with character etched in their faces.
That would totally kick the shit out of the neighbors' fancy hydrangea bushes!

If anybody can give me Dow's 1-800 number, I'd like to call them and order a bunch of stuff.

UPDATE: This goes for BASF too. They told me that they don't make the things I buy, they make the things I buy better.
And I have a garage full of crappy-ass consumer products that either don't fit or don't work, but they won't return my phone calls to fix this shit.
It's crazy.
These companies advertise all the damn place, but they don't tell you how to buy what they're selling.
Infuriating.
Put me some fucking potassium, and fix my shoes, goddammit!


digg this
posted by LauraW. at 06:15 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
fluffy: "Poor little bun bun.I'd tell him he was a good Kit ..."

votermom pimping great books!: "prayers for Hrothgar & his family ..."

Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter: " [i]I kind of hope he's ok! - Hrothgar [/i] ..."

blaster: "NOOD pets ..."

Duke Lowell : "It's nice that the Black kitteh has a pet bunny. ..."

KT: "Darn it.  Love those pets.  All of ours ..."

Peaches: "Over the years they'll build up bigger bigger clu ..."

blaster: "NOOD pets ..."

blaster: "Mis Hum - Leo is my dog there. Sent you an email. ..."

Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla: "What did you do for God to punish you like that? ..."

Misanthropic Humanitarian: "Posted by: Jake Holenhead at October 21, 2017 03:0 ..."

Anon Y. Mous: "Looks like we are missing the pic of Mittens. Got ..."

Recent Entries
Search


MuNuvians
Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat
Archives
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64