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August 18, 2006

Senator Places Double-Secret Hold On Sunlight Provision For Earmarks; Help Catch The Bastard Out

The Coburn-Obama amendment to create a searhable database of earmarks, and the Congressmen introducing them and supporting them, is a terrific way to ferret out waste, profligate spending, and yes, even bribery. It's nice to know that the guy who just got, hypoethetically, $10,000 from a waste maangement lobbying group also just introduced an earmark for $10,000,000 to pay waste management companies to "explore and develop new methods" of "exploring markets not previously exploited by waste management companies, like the production of baby food."

There's a secret rat in the Senate. Help out him.

Call your Senators and get them to deny they're the rats. And record it, why don't you.

Because if the son of a bitch lies to a constituent, he's in trouble.

Via Mary Katherine Gallagher at Michelle's.

A Stone Cold Mystery Update: I'm absolutely baffled, because the only "brown person" in the Senate, and hence the obvious culprit, is Barack Obama, and he co-sponsored the Amendment.

Obviously, he's guilty (and also, I'm afraid of him, and in fact wetting myself even typing his name); and yet, why would he put on a hold on his own Amendment?

You see the problem there?

I guess it's possible he's engaging in skullduggery, introducing the amendment to get the positive press and yet secretly killing it to keep his bribe-money flowing; but this strikes me as too subtle for a "brown person" to manage. I figure if Barack Obama was against this amendment, he would just stab the amendment's suporters to death, like OJ did.

They're probably buddies. Obama could probably get some good stabbin' tips from OJ.

Thus, my befuddlement.

So now I'm annoyed, angered, befudddled, and scared out of my wits at the thought that there is a "brown person" walking the Senate halls with no police escort whatsoever, probably stealing all the priceless portraits of John C. Calhoun and selling crack to kids visiting from Iowa.

God, I'm so scared. Someone hold me.

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posted by Ace at 07:12 PM

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