Headline of the Day; Opening Graf Of The Day

Headline :Truck Filled With Penguins Overturns.

Adnan Hajj was on the scene to photograph what appeared to be EIGHT MILLION penguins, all wailing over burning Korans, weeping over bomb-blasted Teletubby dolls, and producing movies about Jewish Penguins drinking the blood of Muslim baby-penguins, with a Hezbollah dude in foreground pointing an AK-47 at them from atop a hill.

Opening paragraph of the day:

A Brazilian man died Tuesday when he tried to open what police believe was a rocket-propelled grenade with a sledgehammer in a mechanical workshop on the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro.

How absurd. You NEVER smash a rocket propelled grenade with a sledgehammer in an ENCLOSED SPACE, dude. Always do it outdoors. This allows the explosion to occupy a greater volume with lesser force when it, inevitably, blows your fucking head off.

Police found several unexploded army issue rocket-propelled grenades in the workshop. They believe the ammunition had been brought there by scavengers wanting to sell them as scrap metal, but they also are investigating a possible link to Rio's heavily armed drug gangs who often raid military bases.

The survivor of the blast, who was rushed to the hospital with third-degree burns, is being investigated by the police for suspcion of being a "moderate."

Thanks to tmi3rd for the latter.

posted by Ace at 01:16 PM

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