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April 19, 2006

Ranty Fundraising Letter From Al Gore

He used to be a buttoned-up starched-collar stiff-shirted "flaming centrist" who wouldn't "VOOM" if you put 10,000 volts through him. Now he's a ranting bomb-throwing archliberal whose idea of rhetorical restraint is to insert the word "perhaps" before the sentence "Bush should be dropped into a pit of starved wild boars with assorted lunchmeats wrapped around his genitals."

The man is pushing 60 and he is still trying on new identities like a thirteen year old.

Then again, he's been pushing 60 since he was a thirteen year old, so I guess, like Michael Jackson, he feels it's time to finally experience adolescence, and maybe try getting to that "third base" all his friends keep bragging about.

So much is at stake in this November's election. So many critically important public policies are being driven right now by a small cabal of Bush cronies who are free from even the pretense of oversight by their enablers in the Rubber Stamp Congress. This must come to an end.

The fact of the matter is the Republican Congress is incapable of fulfilling its constitutional responsibilities of checking the breathtaking excesses of the Bush administration. And, change must come now. America cannot take three more years of one-party rule in Washington D.C. Fortunately, we don't have to. George W. Bush and Dick Cheney may not be on the ballot this November, but the Rubber Stamp Congress is.

And, we can hold Republicans accountable for the horrible mess they have made of our country and halt the GOP's attack on our fundamental freedoms ... reduce our nation's dependence on foreign oil ... restore stem cell research ... and tackle global warming, a planetary emergency that we must address immediately.

532 votes, guys. Five hundred thirty f'n' two votes, and this guy would have been our president.


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posted by Ace at 03:37 PM

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