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March 21, 2006

Tapped Out And On Deadline, Fred Barnes Culls a Column From His "Dream Journal"

I guess it's kind of fun to talk about. But come on.

The president's most spectacular move would be to anoint a presidential successor. This would require Vice President Cheney to resign. His replacement? Condoleezza Rice, whom Mr. Bush regards highly. Her replacement? Democratic Sen. Joe Lieberman of Connecticut, whose Bush-like views on Iraq and the war on terror have made him a pariah in the Democratic caucus.

Mr. Cheney would probably be happy to step down and return to Wyoming. But it would make more sense for him to move to the Pentagon to replace Donald Rumsfeld as defense secretary, a job Mr. Cheney held during the elder Bush's administration. The Senate confirmation hearing for Mr. Cheney alone would produce political fireworks and attract incredible attention. At Treasury, Mr. Bush has a perfect replacement for John Snow, someone he already knows. That's Glenn Hubbard, former chairman of Mr. Bush's council of economic advisers and currently dean of Columbia's business school. He is in sync with Mr. Bush ideologically and has the added value of being respected on Wall Street.

He also suggests appointing the Green Lantern as Director of Homeland Security. One drawback: the possibility that Al Qaeda will begin smuggling in WMD's painted yellow, over which the Green Lantern, of course, has no power.

Another drawback: Sinestro.

This column would seem a lot less silly if he suggested making Giuliani the new Vice President. At least, to me.

Condoleeza Rice is simply not a politician. Politicians have skills which Coldoleeza Rice has never demonstrated she possesses, nor has she shown any desire to learn them. They're trivial, superficial skills, like working a room, talking gibberish when you don't want to give a straight answer, telling one group one thing and another group another, a ruthless drive to get elected that puts personal success over principle, etc. But they're critical to actual success as a poltician.

In a perfect world we'd elect people who don't possess these skills, but we don't live in that kind of a world. We live in a world where the baby-kissers get elected President. (And yes, Bush has kissed some babies.) So can we all stop dreaming about this alternate universe in which non-politicians beat all the politicians at, you know, politics?

Found at My Pet Jawa and, well, just about everywhere else, too.


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