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March 09, 2006

Man Woos Woman On Internet For Six Months, Meets Her, Discovers It's His Mom

FALSE story, as I feared. Oh well, it's still fun. Fake but hilarious.

If you like pina coladas, gettin' caught in the rain, if you're not into yoga, if you carried me for eight months three weeks and delivered me by c-section:

MARSEILLES, France --

Perfect.

Skirt-chasing playboy Daniel Anceneaux...

Even better.

...spent weeks talking with a sensual woman on the Internet before arranging a romantic rendezvous at a remote beach -- and discovering that his on-line sweetie of six months was his own mother!

"I walked out on that dark beach thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would.

"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "

And then he thought, "In this crazy topsy-turvy world of ours, who's to say what's right and what's wrong?"

But the worst was yet to come. Just as the mortified mother and son realized the error of their ways, a patrolman passed by and cited them for visiting a restricted beach after dark.

....

"Mom called herself Sweet Juliette and I called myself The Prince of Pleasure, and unfortunately, neither one of us had any idea who the other was," said flabbergasted Daniel.

"The conversations even got a little racy a couple of times.

"But I really started to fall for her, because there seemed to be a sensitive side that you don't see in many girls.

"She sent me poems she had written and told me about her dreams and desires, and it was really very romantic.

"The truth is, I got to see a side of my mom I'd never seen before. I'm grateful for that."

Well, dude, you saw that "side" once before.

When starry-eyed Daniel asked Sweet Juliette to send him a picture, Nicole e-mailed him a photo of a curvy, half-clad cutie she'd scanned from a men's magazine.

"The girl in the picture was so beautiful, I begged Juliette to meet me on the beach -- and Mom said yes," he recalled. "Mom says she was falling for me, too, and she just wanted to meet me, even though she knew I'd be disappointed when I saw her. "

It gets worse.

"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on the Internet ever again," said embarrassed Daniel.

Yes, that's probably for the best.

Yeah, I know, it sounds fake, but it's still pretty good.

So I waited with high hopes and she walked in the place
I knew her smile in an instant, I knew the curve of her face
It was my own lovely lady, and she said, "Oh it's you."
Then we laughed for a moment, and I said, "I never knew.... MOM."

Wish I could be a fly on the wall at the next family dinner.

DAD: Pass the butter-sauce.

DANIEL: Here you go.

DAD: How are things at the hospital?

DANIEL: Okay. I'm planning ot taking courses to learn how to operate the MRI and CAT scan machines.

DAD: Outstanding. Is there a promotion involved?

DANIEL: Well, bigger skill-set, bigger paycheck.

DAD: Excellent, excellent... so, um, Daniel... you almost porked Mom, huh?

DANIEL: Yeahhhh... funny story about that...

DAD: I don't think so.

Thanks to scott.


The Internet

Bringing families closer for 10 years.


It Was Fun While It Lasted Update: Snopes: False.


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posted by Ace at 11:47 AM

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