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February 16, 2006

Bryant Gumbel: Winter Olympics So White They Look Like a "GOP Convention"

Well, yeah, moron. Last time I checked, black kids weren't walking around in Nike Air Turino luge-cleats.

Suffice to say that Mr. Gumbel will not, in the near future, be commenting on the NBA looking like a Biggie Smalls funeral procession.

The quote:

Finally, tonight, the Winter Games. Count me among those who don’t like them and won’t watch them ... Because they’re so trying, maybe over the next three weeks we should all try too. Like, try not to be incredulous when someone attempts to link these games to those of the ancient Greeks who never heard of skating or skiing. So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world’s greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the Winter Games look like a GOP convention. Try not to point out that something’s not really a sport if a pseudo-athlete waits in what’s called a kiss-and-cry area, while some panel of subjective judges decides who won ... So if only to hasten the arrival of the day they’re done, when we can move on to March Madness — for God’s sake, let the games begin.

Is Gumbel suggesting he's only interested in sports if there are enough African-Americans fielded to whet his racial appetite?

Of course, this isn't an unheard of phenomenon. There's a reason most white guys like Brett Favre, and most black guys love Donovan McNabb (or used to, anyway). There's an element of identification in rooting in sports, and that identification is stronger when a player, well, looks like you. It's easier to indulge in the fantasy of "What if it were me getting the ball with 1.2 seconds left and needing three points to take the lead...?"

But it seems only black people can admit this. White people have to pretend that Larry Bird is not, in fact, Mr. Clutch, and that he only earned that sobriquet because racist white fans had to find some intangible reason to elevate him over Magic Johnson.

Video at the link.

PS: Is this one of Gumbel's occasional racially-provocative flare-ups designed to prove he's black?

You know this guy spends his off hours watching PBS' Mystery and Martha Stewart.

Thanks to Jack "Slublog" Straw.

UPDATE! Bryant Gumbel Has Been Shot By Dick Cheney!

The Vice President took "full responsibility" but added it was "just a horrible accident."

"I thought I was aiming at Greg Gumbel," he confessed.

Experienced hunters say one should always verify one is aiming at the proper Gumbel before pulling the trigger, although they add, "Look, if you get the wrong one, it's not exactly a national tragedy, you know what I mean?"

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posted by Ace at 01:22 PM

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