The Panda Sutra: Hardcore Panda Pornography

It's about frickin' time.

In a scene from "Bear-Assed Debutantes,"
pool cleaner Chuang Chuang discovers
naughty housewife Lin Hui sunbathing in
the nude.

After Thailand's most popular animal couple failed to mate, zoo officials are gearing up for plan B -- a DVD they hope will get Chuang Chuang and Lin Hui in the mood for love.

The pandas' first mating season -- a three-day window -- came last week. Despite a widely-publicized encounter between Chuang Chuang, a 6-year-old male, and 5-year-old Lin Hui, the mating apparently was unsuccessful.

Zoo administrator Prasertsak Puttrakul, who leads a team taking care of the pandas, noted they tend to live in isolation in the wild, and do not witness other pandas mating.

...

Because of that, Prasertsak has prepared a DVD of pandas having sexual intercourse to show the couple, hoping the demonstration -- call it panda porn -- will inspire them to make a love connection.

Little hint? Make Lin Hui wear braces.

I don't know. Is a species that can't even rouse itself for a bit of the old Yogi & Boo-Boo really worth saving?

Thanks to Allah.

And... Thanks to Pupster for the Panda Sutra title.

posted by Ace at 12:26 PM

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