Sponsored Content

Intermarkets' Privacy Policy

Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!

Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups
Yakima, WA

Contact Mark Andrew Edwards

NoVaMoMe: 6/11/2022
Arlington, Virginia
Registration closes May 31st.
email for info
All requests get a prompt response, so check your spam folder!

1st Annual Alaska MoMe:
Willow, Alaska
email for info

Texas MoMe 2022: 10/21/2022-10/22/2022 Corsicana,TX
Contact Ben Had

New Documents Link Saddam To Al Qaeda? | Main | Update On Guy Who Cut Off His Mangerines In Tribute To Winning Rugby Team
November 18, 2005

Washington Rocked As Another "Pro-War" Democrat Demands Withdrawal

Defection of Hawkish Dennis Kucinich Signals Shift In Public Sentiment On War


W A S H I N G T O N -- Moderate, formerly pro-war ex-Presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich shocked the Bush Administration yesterday by announcing his withdrawal of support for the war -- and his support of a withdrawal.

Washington media was abuzz about the defection. One ABCNews reporter noted that Kucinich has previously made "literally dozens" of speeches in which he showed his strong support for the war by not mentioning at all, choosing instead to rail against Walmart, Bush's tax cuts, or the war in Afghanistan.

Immediately dubbing the Patton-like figure "Bomber" Kucinich, the Washington press corps -- not all of whom have yet been diagnosed as mentally retarded -- speculated as to the ramifications of what they are calling "the Kucinich Moment."

The announcement couldn't come at a worse time for the Bush Administration, as Thurdsday is traditionally the day Washington reporters are allowed out of their assisted-living group homes to engage in "Esteem Activities" and "Adventure Walks," such as travelling to the local Popeye's chicken.

Reporters took a break from painting with watercolors to join the frenzy. A grizzled veteran of the Washington media paused as he sipped from his Juice Box and hinted darkly that it's all over for Bush. He then began screaming "I'm smaaaaaahhht! I'm smaaahhht!" like Fredo in The Godfather Part II until he was sedated with a retard-strength tranq gun.

White House staffers scrambled to contain the damage. Some commentators "questioned the timing" that Bush announced a Very Special T-Ball tournament for the weekend. The White House communications office admitted it had been caught flat-footed and had no idea how to push back against the media firestorm, but that the old methods -- ice cream and balloons -- might not be enough this time.

"If you've lost Dennis Kucinich, you've lost the heartland," one CBS reporter said as he ate a sandwich consisting of turkey, swiss, and a bowling shoe. He then offered his opinion that "Dinosaurs are neat."

digg this
posted by Ace at 09:50 AM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
[/i][/b][/u][/s]Oddbob : "[i]https://tinyurl.com/2p9235rv[/i] There's som ..."

Heavy Squats: "Alt account. @farrahiness Mexican Tranny confi ..."

Jane D'oh: "Just visited Uvalde around a month ago. It is a wa ..."

sad to say: "There are DPS, Texas Guard, Border Patrol Sheriff' ..."

Thomas Paine: "I expect the people in the valley are going to res ..."

kraken: "There are DPS, Texas Guard, Border Patrol Sheriff' ..."

brak: "[i]Just visited Uvalde around a month ago. It is a ..."

garrett: ">>If the police were chasing this guy, where were ..."

Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse: "40 A Gypsy?? Posted by: andycanuck (yikp0) at May ..."

Jimbo jones: "if we just had an open borders policy and legalize ..."

sad to say: "If the police were chasing this guy, where were th ..."

Mark1971: "Maybe a radical leftist who targeted Border Patrol ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64