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November 14, 2005

Top Ten Signs of a Counterfeit $100 Bill

10. Motto "In God We Trust" has been replaced by "If this van's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'"

9. Back of bill features image of Jefferson Memorial being attacked by Godzilla and Japanese Zero fighters

8. Real bills are printed on special paper with high linen content, not various pages of The Ultimate Collection of Fart Jokes by Nether Winds

7. Corners of bill identify it not as "One Hundred Dollars," but "Hundred Buck Cash-Money, Baby!"

6. American Eagle's head faces the wrong way; also, the Eagle has a massive throbbing erection (which also faces the wrong way)

5. Real bills identify themselves as legal tender, not "Mitch's Free Money Bonanza"

4. Portrait is not of Bejamin Franklin, but either of 1) Abraham Lincoln or 2) "Ziggy" from Quantum Leap

3. Bill's serial number is "4." Just "4."

2. Contrary to implication of signature on bill, the position of Secretary of the Treasury has never held by been Mookie Wilson

...and the Number One Sign of a Counterfeit $100 Bill...

1. When angled to the light, bill displays watermark of Yasmine Bleeth holding Bob Dole's cock


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posted by Ace at 03:21 PM

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