Stupid Media Tricks | Main | "Cabal" Hijacked The Foreign Policy of the US, Consisting Of The President, Vice President, Sec. Def., and National Security Advisor
October 26, 2005

Funny Headline Overload

There are just too many stupid double-entendres to choose from.
It's about tools designed specifically for women do-it-yourselfers:

The founders of these companies say their aim is more than just getting hammers into the hands of women. They believe a woman who is capable of fixing her own toilet also is going to feel capable and independent in other areas of her life. It's a philosophy that is sure to sell a few dozen screwdrivers. But it also shows a level of business savvy, given they've launched in sync with several major trends. Among them: soaring interest in do-it-yourself and home improvement projects, and increasing ranks of single, female homeowners.
I like that women can get tools that are more ergonomic. Using a tool that is made for people with hands twice the size of yours makes a task more difficult.

On the other hand, its more of a turn-on to have a man do these things for you.

I really, really wanted to do some stupid word-play here. Skinbad sent me this tip. Like Scott, Skinbad's tips tend to have some kind of a sexual angle. With the result that it looks like all I want to post about is gutter stuff. Which is true.

But, gotta cool it for a while. Don't want to be the second coming of Wankette. "A girl has to protect her reputation." That's a little jewel I picked up from Bob Dole's Cock.

Its not like I have to provide a lot of encouragement to you retards anyway.
I know most of you drooling chimps started guffawing into your monitors the second you read "...hammers into the hands of women..."

I know it, and it endears you to me.

digg this
posted by Laura. at 01:50 PM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Tonypete: "OK, time to start drinking Posted by: REDACTED ..."

Archer: "Why do we continue to allow islam to exist?  ..."

zombie: "And WHY in the GODDAMN hell is an "aviation studen ..."

Trump poisoned my cat: "Saudi aviation students. What possibly could go ..."

TheJamesMadison, Just All about the Billy Wilder movies: "not first ..."

Tim Kaine: "the all-time creepy clown award definitely goes to ..."

major dad: "I worked in that building for about a year. And y ..."

Axeman: "It's like the number of licks in a Tootsie-pop. Th ..."

REDACTED: "1 islam is satanism. where do I sign up ? ..."

TheQuietMan: "CNBC'S JIM KRAMER: Like or hate Trump, 'these ar ..."

TheJamesMadison, Just All about the Billy Wilder movies: "418 Speaking of Batman, I'm going to go up to New ..."

Diogenes: "Imagine my surprise!!! ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64