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October 11, 2005

Pravda Health Alert

Pravda is an essential part of any serious news-junkie's diet. Besides the important content on centaurs, aliens, and teenagers with X-Ray vision, they also offer a full complement of lifestyle type news that you won't find anywhere else.
This is an Ace O-Spades Public Health Alert:

A wedding ring, which many men constantly wear on the fourth finger, may initiate a variety of sexual disorders and eventually end up with partial or even complete impotence. A recent research work conducted by Belarussian scientists revealed that widespread beliefs of losing strong virility after many years of wearing the wedding ring on the ring finger are based on certain scientific reasons.

This is horrifying. Certainly, any sane wife would want her husband to take his ring off for at least part of the day, to reduce the possibility of impotence. Like, say, when he's at work, or at Happy Hour at the bar, or at the strip club.
Not convinced? Here's the science.

If a finger is placed in the ring circuit, the latter intensifies the flow of specific energy in the finger. Some people may probably know that the so-called kidney meridian passes the fourth finger. The energy flows to the Swadhishthana charka (Self or Own Abode) which supervises the urogenital system and the sexual sphere to a certain extent.

See?
No less than the esteemed bio-therapist and healer Sergei Gagarin asserts that "On the whole, one may come to the following conclusion: those who do not wear wedding rings 24/7 may have a lot fewer problems in their sex lives."

Ladies, I don't make the pizzas, I just deliver 'em.

Fortunately my husband wears a platinum ring which has been specially cast in a form which accommodates and protects his 'kidney meridian.' So he's safe, and should wear his ring all the time. Forever.

posted by Laura. at 08:47 PM

| Access Comments


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This is an Ace O-Spades Public Health Alert: A wedding ring, which many men constantly wear on the fourth finger, may initiate a variety of sexual disorders and eventually end up with partial or even complete impotence. A recent research work conducted by Belarussian scientists revealed that widespread beliefs of losing strong virility after many years of wearing the wedding ring on the ring finger are based on certain scientific reasons. This is horrifying. Certainly, any sane wife would want her husband to take his ring off for at least part of the day, to reduce the possibility of impotence. Like, say, when he's at work, or at Happy Hour at the bar, or at the strip club. Not convinced? Here's the science. If a finger is placed in the ring circuit, the latter intensifies the flow of specific energy in the finger. Some people may probably know that the so-called kidney meridian passes the fourth finger. The energy flows to the Swadhishthana charka (Self or Own Abode) which supervises the urogenital system and the sexual sphere to a certain extent. *See?* No less than the esteemed bio-therapist and healer Sergei Gagarin asserts that "On the whole, one may come to the following conclusion: those who do not wear wedding rings 24/7 may have a lot fewer problems in their sex lives." Ladies, I don't make the pizzas, I just deliver 'em. Fortunately my husband wears a platinum ring which has been specially cast in a form which accommodates and protects his 'kidney meridian.' So he's safe, and should wear his ring all the time. Forever. posted by Laura. at 08:47 PM \| Access Comments <script language="javascript" src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/addyn/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=700;cookie=info;target=_blank;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]"></script><noscript><a href="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adlink/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" target="_blank"><img src="http://adserver.adtechus.com/adserv/3.0/5235/1131537/0/170/ADTECH;loc=300;key=key1+key2+key3+key4;grp=[group]" border="0" width="300" height="250"></a></noscript>	Recent Comments They conjure excreta tornadoes in there: "325 >>>Women don't poop. I have this on good autho ..." weft cut-loop[/i][/b] [/s]: "Lots of tarnados out thar'. ..." gp In The Center Of A Stool Boom: ""Majority of Americans Open to ... Mass Deportatio ..." AlaBAMA: " Didn't they make up for it by just powdering the ..." Vibe Check: ">>> My favorite “thought ending cliche” ..." 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