New York Giants Starters Edge NE Patriots' Second String

Whoo-hoo! If you're a Giant fan, this is great news. If we play the second-stringers of a quality team, we can manage to just barely beat them.

In other good news:

* Despite rumors to the contrary, the Giants do in fact seem to have at least five men who claim to be offensive linemen. There were fears that the Giants would actually fail to field any offensive linemen at all, lining up five men short up front.

Not so. We do have linemen. Although it does sometimes seem as if there's absolutely no one blocking up front, you can check the tape-- there are guys there with lineman's numbers, letting pass-rushers right by them like skittish matadors.

* Back-up quarterback Matt Tim Hasselback (sorry, got the Brothers Hasselback confused, I'm told) continues to dominate in all QB skills -- scrambling, running for yardage when receivers are covered, throwing the ball away to avoid a sack -- except for the minor skill of actually competing a forward pass for more than five yards. He also occasionally seems to have trouble handing off the ball.

But these are minor quibbles. Great job, Matt Tim! You are the quarterback of the future -- after we have nanotech bionic implants improving arm strength and accuracy by computer control.

* It's very annoying that one of NE's running backs in named "Pass." This leads to commentators saying things like "Flutie to Pass again," and then seeing a guy run right up the middle with the ball after a hand-off. "Pass for three yards" (after a short run), etc.

It will get very confusing on draws. "Brady drops back to pass, no, it's a draw-fake, now Brady goes to Pass."

I kinda hope he gets cut, just because his name bothers me.

The Patriots have been my back-up favorite team for a while. Hey, it's not just bandwagoning; I lived in Boston for a while.

Usually I switch over to the Patriots after the first five games of the season, after the Giants have proven themselves hapless once again.

I think I'm switching over this year before the first snap of the regular season.

Hey, they've got Doug Flutie. Everyone loves Doug Flutie. I don't know of anyone who doesn't like Doug Flutie, except maybe an anti-semite like Cedarford.

Not that Flutie's Jewish. But real anti-semites don't bother themselves with such nettling distinctions.

posted by Ace at 10:02 AM

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