Sponsored Content
More on Roberts | Main | Another Slavery-Reparations Lawsuit... This One Aimed At The Democratic Party
July 20, 2005

Quick, I Need Another Way To Say "Extraordinary Circumtances!"

GOP and the City surveys the various ways the MSM can say "super double-secret conservative" in relation to Judge Roberts.

I guess it's a fair cop, though. Either the guy is conservative or he isn't. The conservative judicial faithful like myself are happy about the nomination because we assume, based on what we know, that he's conservative; I guess we can't rap the MSM too badly for agreeing with that assessment.

I like the way the Seattle Times describes him... as a "confimable conservative." The bestest sort of conservative of all.

Meanwhile... An unknown commenter looks at the Kosmonauts' reactions to the nomination, as first reported by Confederate Yankee, and finds them, as usual, nasty, brutish, and hopelessly ill-informed:

Did You Catch His Wife When Roberts thanked his family, he mentioned his son, Jack...Roberts' wife's face fell. It was like a poker tell. I think we should research Jack. by mayan on Tue Jul 19th, 2005 at 13:13:01 PDT

interesting observation wonder if anything will come of it... by storme on Tue Jul 19th, 2005 at 13:19:01 PDT

He's probably gay Of course, this is how ridiculous rumors get started, but extreme conservatives seem to have a lot of homosexual children...by Geotpf on Tue Jul 19th, 2005 at 13:19:08 PDT

The unknown commenter responds:

God, these people are clueless. I don't know if Roberts' wife's face fell. "It was like a poker tell." I doubt it. There might have been a slightly raised eyebrow when Jack, who is all of 5 years old, decided to do a little impromtu dance during the announcement.

Well, maybe he's too young to express any sort of sexual interest, straight or gay, but there must be some dirt we can dig up on this five-year-old.

Rumors are flying in DC that when the kid sees a cookie, "he goes absolutely ape-shit." Seriously, he's worse than pre-diet Cookie Monster. I'm telling you, I wouldn't want to be between that kid and a Fig Newton; you'd be taking your life into your hands. He's like a pre-pubescent Teddy Kennedy-- someone's going to wind up dead because of this kid's killer-crazy Newton habit.

Update: Confederate Yankee says the kid in question is four, not five.

Which, if my experience is any guide, is generally the time one first "experiments" a bit with homosexuality. And Play-Doh.

digg this
posted by Ace at 11:38 AM

| Access Comments

Recent Comments
Christopher R Taylor [/i][/i][/b][/b][/s][/s]: "[i]am I gonna have to be Lamont the Big Dummy agai ..."

Minuteman: "Get Andrew Tate on the hotline. He'll have her mak ..."

ghost of hallelujah: "satire? ..."

Rbastid: "So, some little Ace exclusive stuff, I actually k ..."

Duncanthrax: "[i]Yep. SMH does not understand our ways. [/i] ..."

AlaBAMA : "I used to think these had to be parody because no ..."

Aetius451AD: "Far Cry 5? Posted by: Or something else by Ubisof ..."

Soothsayer, the HQ's Most Respected Commenter: " Let's do a post explaining to me how the word "L ..."

Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo, food, water: "Boston is a strong choice. + Police "Synchronici ..."

Yudhishthira's Dice: " Look... when everyone keeps saying for years tha ..."

rhomboid: "Thicker hide and the scroll function, FFS. Long t ..."

TheJamesMadison, watching some Best Pictures: "498 That public face is fake. It represents its co ..."

Recent Entries

Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64