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July 20, 2005

Quick, I Need Another Way To Say "Extraordinary Circumtances!"

GOP and the City surveys the various ways the MSM can say "super double-secret conservative" in relation to Judge Roberts.

I guess it's a fair cop, though. Either the guy is conservative or he isn't. The conservative judicial faithful like myself are happy about the nomination because we assume, based on what we know, that he's conservative; I guess we can't rap the MSM too badly for agreeing with that assessment.

I like the way the Seattle Times describes him... as a "confimable conservative." The bestest sort of conservative of all.

Meanwhile... An unknown commenter looks at the Kosmonauts' reactions to the nomination, as first reported by Confederate Yankee, and finds them, as usual, nasty, brutish, and hopelessly ill-informed:

Did You Catch His Wife When Roberts thanked his family, he mentioned his son, Jack...Roberts' wife's face fell. It was like a poker tell. I think we should research Jack. by mayan on Tue Jul 19th, 2005 at 13:13:01 PDT

interesting observation wonder if anything will come of it... by storme on Tue Jul 19th, 2005 at 13:19:01 PDT

He's probably gay Of course, this is how ridiculous rumors get started, but extreme conservatives seem to have a lot of homosexual children...by Geotpf on Tue Jul 19th, 2005 at 13:19:08 PDT

The unknown commenter responds:

God, these people are clueless. I don't know if Roberts' wife's face fell. "It was like a poker tell." I doubt it. There might have been a slightly raised eyebrow when Jack, who is all of 5 years old, decided to do a little impromtu dance during the announcement.

Well, maybe he's too young to express any sort of sexual interest, straight or gay, but there must be some dirt we can dig up on this five-year-old.

Rumors are flying in DC that when the kid sees a cookie, "he goes absolutely ape-shit." Seriously, he's worse than pre-diet Cookie Monster. I'm telling you, I wouldn't want to be between that kid and a Fig Newton; you'd be taking your life into your hands. He's like a pre-pubescent Teddy Kennedy-- someone's going to wind up dead because of this kid's killer-crazy Newton habit.

Update: Confederate Yankee says the kid in question is four, not five.

Which, if my experience is any guide, is generally the time one first "experiments" a bit with homosexuality. And Play-Doh.


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posted by Ace at 11:38 AM

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