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June 27, 2005

Man Kills Leopard By Thrusting Hand Into Its Gaping Maw of Death And Ripping Out Its Tongue

Several days old, never got around to posting it. But cool:

A 73-year-old Kenyan grandfather reached into the mouth of an attacking leopard and tore out its tongue to kill it, authorities said Wednesday.

Peasant farmer Daniel M'Mburugu was tending to his potato and bean crops in a rural area near Mount Kenya when the leopard charged out of the long grass and leapt on him.

M'Mburugu had a machete in one hand but dropped that to thrust his fist down the leopard's mouth. He gradually managed to pull out the animal's tongue, leaving it in its death-throes.

...

The leopard sank its teeth into the farmer's wrist and mauled him with its claws. "A voice, which must have come from God, whispered to me to drop the panga (machete) and thrust my hand in its wide open mouth. I obeyed," M'Mburugu said.

Ummmm... well, I guess it worked, but why didn't the "Voice from God" tell him to try whacking it on the head with the machette first to stun it or something?

Thank Goodness the Voice didn't say "reach up its ass and try tearing out its duodenem." I've tried that with gators, and trust me, if it doesn't work, you've got one pissed off gator.

Although about one in ten don't seem to mind so much.

But Reuters won't rest on its laurels reporting just that. It's ace reporter nails the story, buttoning it up with elan and punch, with this terrific quote:

"This guy is very lucky to be alive," Kenya Wildlife Service official Connie Maina told Reuters, confirming details of the incident.

In related news, Reuters can now confirm that Michael Jackson is "very lucky to be a free man."

Thanks to JH.


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posted by Ace at 06:33 PM

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