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June 14, 2005

Twelve Angry Men...Actually, They Didn't Really Seem Angry, And There Were Both Men And Women [John from WuzzaDem]

I only caught a few minutes of the Jackson jurors' press conference yesterday:

Juror #11
I just can't understand what's wrong with that mother. What kind of parent would let their kids sleep with a child molester? She should be charged with child endangerment.

Juror #5
You know, I was on her side, then she got all bitchy and started copping a 'tude on the stand, and I was all, "You can kiss your guilty verdict goodbye, lady."

Juror #7
Exactly! You know, she was looking right at me while she was talking. It's like, "Excuse me - have we been introduced?"

Juror #9
I just didn't like that DA. What's his name, Sneedon?

Juror #11

Juror #9
Right, Sneddon. The very first day of the trial he was standing right there in the courtroom talking about sex. And not just regular sex, mind you, he was talking about people having sex with little boys! It was disgusting. I just started tuning him out.

Juror #4
Yeah, and he was all old and wrinkly. He looks like that Hans Moleman dude from The Simpsons. He creeped me out. I mean, you know, Sneddon, not Hans Moleman.

Were all of you completely convinced from the beginning that Jackson was innocent?

Juror #6
No, I think he might have done it, but I think that kid's mother was lying, and I was raised to believe that you don't reward people for doing the wrong thing.

I had to change the channel at this point.

[Posted by John from]

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