Intermarkets' Privacy Policy
Support


Donate to Ace of Spades HQ!


Contact
Ace:
aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com


Recent Entries
Absent Friends
Bandersnatch 2024
GnuBreed 2024
Captain Hate 2023
moon_over_vermont 2023
westminsterdogshow 2023
Ann Wilson(Empire1) 2022
Dave In Texas 2022
Jesse in D.C. 2022
OregonMuse 2022
redc1c4 2021
Tami 2021
Chavez the Hugo 2020
Ibguy 2020
Rickl 2019
Joffen 2014
AoSHQ Writers Group
A site for members of the Horde to post their stories seeking beta readers, editing help, brainstorming, and story ideas. Also to share links to potential publishing outlets, writing help sites, and videos posting tips to get published. Contact OrangeEnt for info:
maildrop62 at proton dot me
Cutting The Cord And Email Security
Moron Meet-Ups






















« What, Is Connie Chung In Control Somewhere? | Main | Doctor vs. Doctor [John from WuzzaDem] »
June 11, 2005

The Scientology Interview [John from WuzzaDem]

From AP:

Tom Cruise says girlfriend Katie Holmes "digs" the Church of Scientology. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Cruise says the 26-year-old "Batman Begins" actress is curious about Scientology, founded by L. Ron Hubbard.

He also confirmed there was a Scientology massage tent on the set of his upcoming film, "War of the Worlds."

"I also had a cappuccino tent on that set. And I made sure the crews were fed well, too. And if someone wanted an assist from a (Scientology) volunteer, it was there for them," he says. "People are curious about it - they're always asking me about it, they want to know what Scientology is."

I've heard the comparisons of Scientology to "cults," complete with lurid tales of kidnapping and brainwashing, but I'm sure a lot of this is part exaggeration, and part sensationalism.

I wanted to find out what kind of impression the crew members on the set of Cruise's film got when they spoke to these Scientology "volunteers." I managed to find one who would talk to me. Of course, he insisted on anonymity, so his name has been changed. I spoke with "Glen" in his home yesterday.

John
So what was it like working with Tom Cruise?


Glen
It was great. He's a very cool guy. No airs, he treats everybody the same. Definitely not your typical "big star," if you know what I mean.


John
Now, I understand you spoke to one of the Scientology volunteers who was on the set. How did they explain the basic philosophy behind the religion? Glen? Are you OK?


Glen
Yes. I am fine.


John
You just look a little...dazed, and your eyes are all glassy.


Glen
Scientology has changed my life. I have never been more happy or aware of myself and my surroundings. Here is a pamphlet. It will change your life.


John
Thanks. I want to ask you about...


Glen
Why don't we read from Dianetics together - it will change your life.


John
Not right now, I really...


Glen
Here, you can have my copy. You must come to the meeting Saturday night. It will change your life.


John
I appreciate the offer, but I'm busy Saturday night...


Glen
Then we will have the meeting on Sunday. You really must come.


John
Thanks, but I really don't want a copy. Listen, are you sure you're all right? You're acting a little, I don't know...weird.


Glen
No, no, I am fine. I am just really excited about Scientology. Look how excited I am.

[Starts jumping up and down on the couch, pumping his fist in the air]


John
Hey, be careful, man!


Glen
WHOOO! I am psyched! I have never felt like this before in my life! I can't wait to achieve Clear!


John
Look out!

[Glen falls off the couch, hits his head on the coffee table and falls to the floor, unconcious]


John
Hey, are you OK? Glen?


Glen [Slowly opens his eyes]
What happened?


John
You don't remember?


Glen [Gets up and sits back on the couch]
No, the last thing I remember is you asking me about Tom Cruise. I must have blacked out or something.


John
Do you want me to call a doctor?


Glen
No, I'm OK now, but I really don't feel up to answering any more questions. I've got a pounding headache.


John
That's perfectly understandable. Maybe we can talk about Scientology some other time.

[Glen's body stiffens, his eyes glaze over as he stares straigh ahead]


Glen
No, I would like to talk to you about Scientology. Here is a copy of Dianetics. It will change your life.


John
You're kidding. What about your headache?


Glen
It is psychosomatic. I much achieve Clear, then I will not experience headaches.


John
Yeah...well, I, uh, I'm actually late for an appointment, so I have to go.


Glen
You should come to the meeting Saturday. It will change your life.


John [Walking out the door]
Yeah, whatever, see you later.


Glen
Wait! Take this pamphlet! It will change your life!!


[Posted by John from WuzzaDem.com]

Update: Sobek lands an interview with Cruise himself, and gets into a bit of a sculffle with a few other interesting characters. Funny stuff, man.

[On his personal computer]

[As opposed to his Cray supercomputer]

digg this
posted by Ace at 03:40 PM

| Access Comments




Recent Comments
ShainS -- I heard that James Carville is a Scientologist as well as Pederast [/b][/i][/s][/u] : "BREAKING: Manslaughter charge against Daniel Penny ..."

Tom Servo: "HA has a fun article up - Ding, Dong, the Krugman' ..."

Cheri: "Where were the Capitol police when the tranny brig ..."

Sebastian Melmoth: "Dave Attell's bit on fireworks is hilarious. He s ..."

Scuba_Dude: "On the golf course, any tree is my bathroom. :-) ..."

[/i][/i][/b][/b]Christopher R Taylor[/i][/i][/b][/b]: "[i]When I saw the double masked juror in the Danie ..."

Nova Local: "285 The jury is not sequestered for the weekend? W ..."

Miklos, Esq. did not pass this particular bar: " Something … something … law … f ..."

lin-duh of the garbage clan: "There is a big potted plant outside my office door ..."

wth: "It's all fun and games until it's Sloppy Joe day i ..."

Harvey Weistein: ">>There is a big potted plant outside my office do ..."

FeatherBlade: "[i]they upgraded it to floor drains along the peri ..."

Recent Entries
Search


Polls! Polls! Polls!
Frequently Asked Questions
The (Almost) Complete Paul Anka Integrity Kick
Top Top Tens
Greatest Hitjobs

The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
Powered by
Movable Type 2.64