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June 11, 2005

The Scientology Interview [John from WuzzaDem]

From AP:

Tom Cruise says girlfriend Katie Holmes "digs" the Church of Scientology. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Cruise says the 26-year-old "Batman Begins" actress is curious about Scientology, founded by L. Ron Hubbard.

He also confirmed there was a Scientology massage tent on the set of his upcoming film, "War of the Worlds."

"I also had a cappuccino tent on that set. And I made sure the crews were fed well, too. And if someone wanted an assist from a (Scientology) volunteer, it was there for them," he says. "People are curious about it - they're always asking me about it, they want to know what Scientology is."

I've heard the comparisons of Scientology to "cults," complete with lurid tales of kidnapping and brainwashing, but I'm sure a lot of this is part exaggeration, and part sensationalism.

I wanted to find out what kind of impression the crew members on the set of Cruise's film got when they spoke to these Scientology "volunteers." I managed to find one who would talk to me. Of course, he insisted on anonymity, so his name has been changed. I spoke with "Glen" in his home yesterday.

So what was it like working with Tom Cruise?

It was great. He's a very cool guy. No airs, he treats everybody the same. Definitely not your typical "big star," if you know what I mean.

Now, I understand you spoke to one of the Scientology volunteers who was on the set. How did they explain the basic philosophy behind the religion? Glen? Are you OK?

Yes. I am fine.

You just look a little...dazed, and your eyes are all glassy.

Scientology has changed my life. I have never been more happy or aware of myself and my surroundings. Here is a pamphlet. It will change your life.

Thanks. I want to ask you about...

Why don't we read from Dianetics together - it will change your life.

Not right now, I really...

Here, you can have my copy. You must come to the meeting Saturday night. It will change your life.

I appreciate the offer, but I'm busy Saturday night...

Then we will have the meeting on Sunday. You really must come.

Thanks, but I really don't want a copy. Listen, are you sure you're all right? You're acting a little, I don't know...weird.

No, no, I am fine. I am just really excited about Scientology. Look how excited I am.

[Starts jumping up and down on the couch, pumping his fist in the air]

Hey, be careful, man!

WHOOO! I am psyched! I have never felt like this before in my life! I can't wait to achieve Clear!

Look out!

[Glen falls off the couch, hits his head on the coffee table and falls to the floor, unconcious]

Hey, are you OK? Glen?

Glen [Slowly opens his eyes]
What happened?

You don't remember?

Glen [Gets up and sits back on the couch]
No, the last thing I remember is you asking me about Tom Cruise. I must have blacked out or something.

Do you want me to call a doctor?

No, I'm OK now, but I really don't feel up to answering any more questions. I've got a pounding headache.

That's perfectly understandable. Maybe we can talk about Scientology some other time.

[Glen's body stiffens, his eyes glaze over as he stares straigh ahead]

No, I would like to talk to you about Scientology. Here is a copy of Dianetics. It will change your life.

You're kidding. What about your headache?

It is psychosomatic. I much achieve Clear, then I will not experience headaches.

Yeah...well, I, uh, I'm actually late for an appointment, so I have to go.

You should come to the meeting Saturday. It will change your life.

John [Walking out the door]
Yeah, whatever, see you later.

Wait! Take this pamphlet! It will change your life!!

[Posted by John from WuzzaDem.com]

Update: Sobek lands an interview with Cruise himself, and gets into a bit of a sculffle with a few other interesting characters. Funny stuff, man.

[On his personal computer]

[As opposed to his Cray supercomputer]

digg this
posted by Ace at 03:40 PM

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