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June 10, 2005

Only If The Republicans Weren't So White[The Therapist]

Normally I'd immediately cop to a stiff allusion to Howard Dean's most recent fulmination from the Gadarene tombs, but such is not the case.

I actually am referencing a stereotype--the one that notes the collective image of white guys scattering like chickens whenever one of their buddies gets put in a full Nelson and had his kidneys tenderized by a swarthy second man.

Come to think of it, Howard Dean may be more right about the Republicans than even I thought. And thus comes the following bit of wisdom, and maybe a small suggestion for dealing with the barrage of "nazi death camp" analogies continually promulgated by the left--with little or no scrutiny from the media, who appear to have no fatigue in reporting such comparisons.

The Republicans become the Uber-Cauc the minute they make even the slightest attempt to mock the left. They appear to know nothing about the results of mocking. They know what mocking sounds like, but having no mechanisms internally by which to mitigate the vociferating, seething velociraptors high mockery can invoke. Right about the time Mr. GOP is smirking about his well-timed zinger, Maxine Waters starts channeling Mya Angelou with what portends to be another South Central conflagration.

Mr. GOP then proceeds to urinate on himself, and issue apologies.

So the time comes for a little "paint by numbers" lesson in mockery, inspired by my good friend and fellow blogger, Jeff, at Beautiful Atrocities, who laid out this brilliant bit on exactly how many recent comparisons to Hitler the left has stapled to perfectly good people, places, and processes.

If the Republicans can locate at least one guy who doesn't have to fight the urge to clap on the one and the three during Twisted Sister's We're Not Gonna Take It, then this might work: Try comparing everyday banalities to Nazi Blitzkriegs. Make them real doozies. The trick is to do it with such a tone that the actual comparison pales in the white-hot light of . . . mockery.

I mean it. Preschool, post-nasal drip, acid reflux, and even that annoying tendency for a drive-up window attendant to place your change on top of your paper money while your hand is at a 45 degree angle.

"Having ones petty change rattle through a hot sidewalk grate makes the mind hearken back to thge days when my relatives had their gilded molars extracted with channel locks by the Third Reich."

Compare everything to the Nazis. Call Press conferences, grant interviews, send out faxes. Go on record with the largest list of Nazi-esque banalities ever witnessed by humankind. What it will not do is force the media to examine the overall gratuitous employment of the term in general, but a cheapening of the value of the lives of holocaust victimes by Repub. . .wait, um . . .never mind.

Maybe we should just issude Depends Undergarments and call it a day for these guys.

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posted by Ace at 01:57 AM

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