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June 04, 2005

Did Anyone Else Catch "Hit Me Baby One More Time"?

You must have. It had the higest ratings for a series debut in years.

Not the best show, though.

You do get to hear some songs you used to like, sung again -- sometimes very badly sung again; did that guy from Flock of Seagulls ever have a voice? -- but the main interest, it turns out, is seeing who aged well and who went all Delta Burke.

Like that Clash guy sang in that Big Audio Dynamite song, Somehow I stayed thin/while the other guys got fa-a-a-at.

Loverboy: What the hell happened to that guy? Good heavens. You're still performing "100 gigs a year," you claim. Cut out the doughnuts for crying out loud. Do some crunches. Fat, drunk, and singing Everybody's Workin' For the Weekend is no way to go through life, son.

Flock of Seagulls: Okay, this guy wasn't ever actually attractive. He just had that hair. Judging from the baseball cap, he doesn't have that anymore. Again: you're a performer. Buff up.

Tiffany: She was either pregnant or just tubby, but she actually looks better than she did as a kid, and seems to have learned to sing in the interim.

Arrested Development: These guys shouldn't even have been on the show. For crying out loud, aren't they a mid-nineties act? They looked, well, ten years older. Kind of a fun group, but I remembered why I hated them: they were the black act that wouldn't shut the fuck up about "positivity" all the goddamned time. A fuckin' hip-hop Up With People. Between cloyingly uplifting messages and the Ghetto Boyz, there has got to be a happy medium for hip-hop.

Anyway... next week's show will feature Sophie B. Hawkins doing Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover (what else? she didn't have any other songs), Wang Chung (hoping for Everyone Have Fun Tonight, unfortunately it will probably be Dance Hall Days), and... wait for it... Night Ranger!

Hmmm... any guesses on what song they'll be doing?

I hated Sister Christian when it was out, because it was 1) ridiculously overplayed and 2) ludicrously cheesy. But damn, I'm looking forward to hearing it again.

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posted by Ace at 03:11 AM

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